Life
Flowing
In tempo
To beating hearts
Has never failed
To pull into eddies
Frightened, lost, and lonely leaves.
And when the leaves begin to touch,
Flirting, from each other they are thrust.
To drift alone, but no more lonely; lost.
Author notes
Another etheree. This one on a more personal topic.
People, seriously, use dictionary.com. Eddies: A small part of a river or stream that flows contrary to the main current
{Option #1 Nature}
Written June 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- QUEST FOR POWER (Round 1) by phoenixonfire.
300 points, ended June 27, 2006, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Very nice. I like the simplicity of the poem. What are eddies though? Not sure what those are. I like the flirting with each other they thrust.
-
kudos for you mr jakob. i really enjoy your stuff. i never get tired of saying that.
-
very good
a wonderfull write that says so much in so few words, thank yo ufo rsharing this with us and keep up the good work good luck in the contest
-
Not being a formally trained poet I can appreciate forms I may not be aware of. I do enjoy this and understand structure and rhythm is based on the form you chose. Good write and good luck in the contest.
-
What a great poem this is!! The style creates a lovely shape too so it is also visually appealing! Good luck! Sarah
-
Good Luck
Great write...loved every word of it. Good luck in this contest.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
-
this is great i really liked it...the emotion is great so tremdous that you can feel it...i loved it
Cidnie-Vilou90 -
now it makes sense! good worK! thanks for entering and good luck!
will come back later!
preets
-
It's a small, calm, part of a river. Like a really small bay.
-
eddies wats eddies ?
-
I will not comment on the form, because, even after keeping to the syllable count (which anyone must) you have made this flow so well, and what mattered most here was the depth of it, the meaning. And I loved the ending so very much - two leaves- drifting from each other, no more lonely, but lost. What a detailed and DEEP thought there. Wonderful!
Love and light,
Lencio -
Brilliant
Woweeeee, what an awesome poem. I just love the metaphors, the flow and imagary. Bravo and exceptionally well done!! -
i like how you paced this. Rivers leaves and poets being themes i know...i'll have to read more of yours.
-
this is a wonderful read, you can picture the words , thankyou very much for sharing, and i am amazed that you are only 16 and already you have such wonderful imagery....well done..
-
lovely
a trely lovely write! it evokes images of golden autumn afternoons, and that is one of my favorite things in the world! keep writing; you have a wonderful gift. -
this is really beautiful, and i love the title. i love how the leaves are flirting, it made me smile!
great job, mate, keep writing, you're wonderful -
very, very lovely poem.
you have written it well,
great job, i truly enjoyed it. -
That was awesome. Your a great poet. I just love the emotion and feeling in this. Keep up the good work.
your friend,
Ace♠ -
very good
A beautifully expressed poem. Brought pictures to mind and emotion. -
This is a beautiful piece that has perfect rhythm and wonderful imagery. I also like how you wrote it, the form...it just looks nice :-) Anyway, great job with this poem. I really enjoyed it. Keep the ink flowing!
-
very well written lovely poetry
-
This is done really well. You are a mature poet at 16. I am impressed! Keep the ink flowing poet! Be Peace, Tink
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
9 old applause
