dancing does not dare
a fallen star to sing
none care about the notion
of neglect
and motion does not do a thing to let
a blind heart see
forever waxen ears can't capture sounds
of mourning love
somewhere the wounded mind
discard of care
and fingertips are frozen in its grip
a sky is separated from its earth
by blood
no soul is here
but who-who orbs of owls unwise
a core
stripped to its pinpoint tremor
never touched
in trust
myra
17.06.2006
Author notes
Alone in loss
Written June 17th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Are You Ready For This? by onerios13.
15000 points, ended July 18, 2006, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You have a sad poem in this, but even moreso are your author's comments. I hope the process goes easily for you. As for the poem, it is quite lovely in the images you have penned. I like the unwise owls line. We sometimes go wide-eyed into things that should have been more studied. Life teaches hard lessons sometimes, but good lessons to learn...
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This is very chaotic. Which, of course, means that I love it. lol. I think, however, the chaos might read a little strangely, or nonsensically for most people (myself included a time or two throughout the poem). The first four lines were phenomenal, and are probably some of the strongest opening lines I've read in a while. It's hard to do poetry without pronouns, so I give you many kudos and gratuities for that. lol.
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You are never alone angel. Even if you think you are. The depth of your feelings is perceived multiplied in other places and times. Hearts up high and below storm the heavens to request comfort for you. Not one whisper or sigh goes unheard. Ack.
Chris
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I still can't decide whether this is about you being alone or someone close to you dying and leaving you alone in loss. The first two verses are clearly personal but the third verse hints of another person is involved in this emotional write.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
alerts the senses
We see, but yet we don't. We hear, but yet we don't. We think, but about the wrong things, never seeing the truth. Our hearts are in the right place, but often not. And our souls...where are our souls? Lost in the daily rat race?
It's a wonderful thing that Christ spilled his blood for us, else we wouldn't have a chance....
Lovely write Myra,
Brazos -
This is a very interesting piece but I like it!
Actually when I was reading it, it made me think of a wax museum and all those sculputures of real people that look real but just aren't. And that's a good analogy that you used about feeling all alone because you just can't speak to wax ears or expect that they'll ever hear you. Matter of fact that was my favorite lines. So I think that you did a good job of expressing yourself here. Thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you today.
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Lute was here.
1 - 7 of 7






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