Can you recall a castle made of sand
That stood – so monumental – yesterday,
Upon that place where ripples kiss the land?
But no, like passing thoughts, it washed away.
I built a dream-house, decked it out with shells
And shining pebbles, garnered from the tide,
Hung bladderwrack there for its chapel bells,
And garrisoned my fantasies inside.
A prisoner or Princess – there lived I
A summer’s afternoon long, in my mind,
Until the daytime warmth began to die;
I wept, and left my magic realm behind.
Perhaps, as golden grains swirl in the sea
Remembering, my realm still beckons me …
Author notes
Written June 17th, 2006
In a list
- The wraith's complaining mouth • next in list
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more bloody sonnets • next in list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Very hasty research! LOL
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Another whimsical write packed with a punch -- bladderwrack -- I love all the botanical references you make in your work.
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Amy, thank you very much for your praise.
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beautiful
Beautiful piece of writing, so sensual and elegant, it beckons you to an ethereal place, pretty and sweet, some perfect imagery in here, well done, very enjoyable to read
amy
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What indeed, Michael. I just think we ought to rubber-stamp each other's work and have done with it!
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Bazza - nice to see you again - I shall have to drop in to Bazza-base soon (when I am not too harrassed) and have a skeck at some of your latest stuff too. All the best, and thanks for the kind comments.
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Haunting and lovely, what else can I say?
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Beautifully and delicately written
Beautifully written poem that paints a picture of dreaming and child like wishes in another world of fantasy. -
Hey Tangle - nice of you to drop by. Thanks, as always, for the appreciative comments. (I am still being stingy with return applause at the moment, I'm afraid
)
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Dear Mairi,
We all seem to have built the castle of hopes and dreams - and each time it tumbles we never get it the same again.
You fill our minds so very full with your words that capture our essence. Keep peeking inside and sharing.
Wonderful poem and picture combo.
Tang -
Yeah that usually happens too. Usually by some kids. And a dog. Poe, thank you for running out of compliments - I think that is one of the best compliments I have ever had.
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You know what? Mairi, I've been sitting here thinking and thinking
about what compliments I could pay to you for another stunning
write..but my minds been swept away,, all I see is sandcastles
and what could have been, I absolutely love where your mind wanders
to,, and then thousands of miles away I get to wander too...
by the way,
My sand castle didn't get washed away it got tromped on..
and I've got the sand up me cheeks to prove it... lapoe...
Edited on Jun 18, 2:38 p.m. because ''. -
Nothing slow about you, Sis.
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Mercury - I seem to be able to do extended metaphors. Thank you.
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Ahhh.. the delightful Mairi bheag at her craft once again! I have nothing to add to the comments from Merc and Wallflower other than to say that this time I actually got the metaphor before you had to point it out to me. Lordy, I am as slow as you are quick!
Shiny Sis
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very poignant
Mairi, this is a very touching extended metaphor for a swept away relationship built against all odds. Wonderful but sad.
All the best,
Mercury Rising -
Thanks very much, I am glad you like it, and I think your interpretation is not only valid, but spot on - or as near as makes no difference. The verse form and rhyming scheme are my favourite - the English Sonnet - from which I only rarely seem to break free.
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Wow. That was really well written. First of all, the rhyme really helped for this piece to stand out. It added an emphasis to the poem that distinguished it for me.
Second of all, the language in this is so wonderfully full of imagery. I especially liked the "ripples kiss the land" and "garrisoned my fantasies inside" parts.
Thirdly, this is so richly emotional. You can feel the transition from joy to despair in the words. It makes for a wonderful read.
And finally, this is an awesome metaphor. I don't parituclarly know what you had in mind in writing this, but I interpreted this to be representative for lost innocence, or passing on from a child to an adult.
Even if you didn't intend to write this symbolically, the poem itself is still well done.
Awesome job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
7 old applause
