Give me that old-time grainy feel
Of the Double Run--
Where the hero stands tall,
And the townsfolk chuckle heartily
When the children scamper about
Chasing chickens
(At this point begins the occasional song
For which everyone inexplicably knows
Both the words and the steps.)
A kiss is heralded by
Quavering melodies and sparkling lights
That glow clearly in otherwise blurry scenes.
A woman’s image exists
In a magnificently fluffed coiffure
Topping hourglass curves;
No man is seen
Without his slicked-back,
Shined-solid hair that won’t move
And holds his hat a good inch off his head
(Except for Tyrone Power,
Whose flashing grin and boyish charm
Graced far too few a silver screen.)
The sound may be lacking,
But the lighting’s always right;
And you know that somehow, near the end,
Everything will turn out just fine.
Author notes
Ok, please help me edit this It's lacking quite a bit, and seems to me to just trail off...what do you all think?
Written June 17th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I think this ending works for me. You speak of enjoying past features of forgotten era and different sensibilities on grainy reels. Fading art 'remastered' or lost forever. Ended with your final statment of resentment and resignation. That is what I saw in the reading, without putting too fine an edge, and I really thought it worked. Tinker ith it as you must, but I will hope you let the ending stand. I likeses it.
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good
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hehe yeah, Tyrone Power was a hottie. Alot of my fav films seem to fall into that 1950's slot where the colour is there in the original...but yes, the pastel versions of older films are icky!
You know what I haven't seen in awhile? "The Uninvited." Hm... -
Oh, I like this nostalgic piece, Ampad.. and I remember Casablanca... from way, way back. Bogart was and is one of my most favorite actors.. and Tyrone Power, what a gorgeous guy
I don't like the color enhanced black and white versions ...give me the originals anytime.
Love this poem
Dee
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Oooh thanks, I'll try it!
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Hmm, this is actually quite good. I'm not sure I can help much with improving the style you are going for, but I'll give it a shot. You might try something like for a start:
Give me the old-time, grainy feel
the double run
where heros stand tall
and townsfolk chuckle heartily
breaking into songs of yesteryear
as scampering children, chase chickens
I think you've created some very solid and strong images in this piece, it has the feel of nostalgia. The only problem I see is that you are creating the picture, the reader can see it but they just aren't quite there in it. Perhaps removing some of the 'fluff' words (unnecessary words) and tightening it up a bit would get the strength you are looking for. Anyhow, I hope this helps. Just a suggestion to start I enjoyed the trip down memory lane here, I'm parital to "old fashioned" things myself 
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Thanks People have never heard of Casablanca?!? Ouch. Hehe yeah, I'm watching "The Rare Breed" right now.
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First of all, I like the background. The only thing I could think of you mentioning is the perfect teeth. Seriously, though, I'm a fan of older movies (do you have any idea how many people have never heard of Casablanca? And that's a classic!) and I think you did an excellent job. I love the musical reference in the first stanza.
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