Is the girl blind? Why can’t she see?
She cannot deserve such misery
Truth escapes her tortured mind
Hounded, abused, and confined
Encaged by a beast, calloused, unkind
Growth he hinders, shackles, defies
Inky blackness conquers sapphire skies
Reveries suppress a truth to despise
Life that stifles harrowed cries
Burning all bridges to life without IT
Lies weave together quilting a soulless skit
Imitation smiles mask a mammoth pit
Nothing is able to revive her wit
Destroyed by the lowlife hypocrite
Wilting in his foul abyss
Hatred with a facade of bliss
Yet she can’t see her life’s amiss
Crippled by his poisoning roar
Another hidden festering sore
Numbly surviving their private war
Toughness envelopes her tender core
She serves her heart on a tray
He shreds it in a cruel display
Establishing roots for his decay
She trusts his lies of tangible hate
Expecting that he is her only mate
Embraces him as a fitting fate
Author notes
Sadly this happens alot. Girls... most guys are not jerks(a good example is... me!)but SOME ARE, watch out for them! (For the Guys... GROW UP!!!)
A contest entry
- OPTIONS OPTIONS OPTIONS! (and some that you don't see everyday!) by sharkofdhoom.
500 points, ended May 13, 2007, 47 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! III by Nam.
1750 points, ended April 14, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I would suggest removing the question marks, 1. they are a distraction, and 2. they're really not needed. Other than that: a nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam -
so very true
this was wonderfully written
thanks for entering! -
This was good. The beginning was much better than the end, and I felt that the rhyme fell apart in the middle. I didn't notice it at the beginning, but when it became forced, the rhyme became very obvious. "Inky blackness conquers sapphire skies," is very powerful imagery that kind of makes me want to cry. Thanks so much for your entry and good luck!
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This relates to me.In the past I was in a horrific relationship from the time I was 17 until I was 36 I could not escape.He always came after me and made me come back.I found out 4 years ago that he sexually molested our oldest daughter for years.The basterd is in jail where he belongs.My biggest fear is of when he gets out.You got your point across very well I think and thank you my man for standing up for the abused woman and wanting better for her.My hats off to you and your words.
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ExEllent
i find it very gd,
keep it up,
gd job that's what it is -
Sadly, this is much too true. Good job, I think many people are able to relate to this piece because every girl knows exactly how this feels. Good job. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck in the judging.
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No not all guys are jerk as I have learned. This poem reminds me a lot of my relationship with my ex husband. I love that 5th stanza. The whole poem is crafted using such striking imagery. Overall, a well crafted, emotion packed piece of poetry. It was a very good read. Well doen adn many thanks for entering my contest.
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Most excellent
No, not ALL guys are jerks and for the record, I know some ladies (loosely termed)who can be real jerks
Thank you for sharing and for being part of the contest -
good write and congrates! i liked this a lot because ive experienced some rough times lately. keep it up and good job in the contest!
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Congratulations on winning the gold in my contest. Your poem was was very well written, and I really liked it. I found truth behind it, and you show excellent skill as a poet. congratulations again and keep up the good writing.
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very touching and very moving. i can really connect. you give a very strong point in this poem and good luck. and thanks for entering.
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Wow
Yeah,this is wonderfully written, a very true poem. It expresses a lot and indeed it has a great point. Very deep, and you've written it very well. Thanks a lot for entering this piece into my contest and good luck! I'm sure you'll do great, I will be around to read and comment more on your poems so until then take care, and once again thank you! Your a great poet
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WOW! this is nicely written it expresses so much and is just a great point. its great that ur a nice guy lol us girls like that in a person its a very nice plus on a reputation. Grea job i seriously think you put alot into this and it reall shows. Great job keep it up! *kelc*
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Lovely.
Awesome. This poem is so effective and deep. I can't help but keep thinking about it. Its really really really amazing. Keep it up! Oh, my favorite lines are:
"Crippled by his poisoning roar
Another hidden festering sore
Numbly surviving their private war
Toughness envelopes her tender core"
Well, good luck in my contest and thanks for entering!! -
I think this is a very good poem; I like your use of language and the fact that you find new ways to say things. Keep writing, I'll be back for more!
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wooah
That was really really good, so truthful and intestestin, i oved your choice of words and rhymeing, Nicely done
Moll xxx
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Thanks for the warning!!!!!!!
Me, I've know lots of frogs, but seldom few princes. A brilliant write, and good luck!!
Sapphire -
Wonderful
This is such a amazing write. I love the way it just flows and the rhyming doesn't seemed forced at all. You did a great job out there. I can relate to the girl in the poem, more then what I hoped for. Keep up the good work and please keep the pen flowing.
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