Mist swirling over the dew covered grass.
The sky a deep, black shade of pitch.
Steams of sun reach over the horizon.
Golden arches, colorful and rich.
Rays of light hitting dewy flowers.
Spider webs, tiny strings of light.
Leaves dripping melted fire.
Bird songs joyously ignite.
Night chills disappearing.
Shadows running to hide.
The sun in blazing glory.
Rays of light gently glide.
Author notes
Written June 14th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Terse Verse by I-Like-Rhymes.
450 points, ended October 2, 2006, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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I can see why you won a GOLD for this wonderful
piece of poetry art.
Your words are truly stunning.
Very lovely writing, you should be proud.
Justgot2loveme
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Stellar beauty
Hmmm, let's see, the first two lines are ironic that it's sort of soaked in a way when the first twitch of dawn has that cool spray, continuing by form of those sticky droplets on the lawn. Also, not only may it look sort of dark because it isn't totally up, but later in the day if there's an opaque view it causes a similar memory. Love that phrase, "Steams of sun," I actually first read it as "stReam." It sets off a wonderful tone either way, and almost together lol.
You did more than just nicely done here -- "Spider webs, tiny strings of light. Leaves dripping melted fire. Bird songs joyously ignite" as it conveys an idea whether the literal "spider web" is a miniature insulation so to speak for the sunlight. Or, it's a reflection for the rays, perfect in both decipherings. And, the way you weaved the fiery sun like driplets washing down to warm the birds to come out just fits as eye-opening.
I like the comfort feeling in the next stanza, and how that's a natural alarm for waking up to even recognize the sweetness haha. With, "Shadows running to hide," it can be read as a lengthy observation, and then it might appear that way... you shine a flash on something dark, and it's suddenly light, so there I can compare.
The last line made me smile. Now, it is time to stretch a long summer day when you don't see the beginnings of the day for a while.
Congratulations on your gold a couple years ago, this is definitely a nice nature write for when you were fourteen I gather???
PIA-K -
Looks like I'm a few years behind in commenting on this poem, but it was a wonderful write. The imagery is lovely and paints a beautiful picture of a sunrise.
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not to bad a picture painted here, this poem is well writen, however am not sure about "dewy flowers."
but everything else about was good you used some nice poetic lanuage
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Hate the dawn, but, this is a wonderful depiction of it, I like.
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beautiful sunrise poem.
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Shadow, when dawn comes you best run.
thanks for entering. -
this is very descroptive of a mornign sunrise... fantastic way that you have pulled the reader in.. good luck in your contest
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This is a lovely poem. It creates a calm atmosphere via the wonderful imagery and peacefulness of your words.
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awesome!
ooooooh this poem gives me a perfect feeling of the sun coming up. it makes me think of some goddess as the sun or something (yes im a little weird). anyways it paints a really pretty picture: i love it!
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Great Piece
This is a great piece. Good luck in my contest and the others you have and will enter.
~Majestic Poet
P.S. Sorry my comment was so short! -
Bravo
Frankly this IS really quite wonderful! This is what poetry is all about. Anyway you may care to slice it this is an excellent poem! Bravo!...Bravo!...Bravo!
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Oh my, this one is in a lot of contests!
But this is quite a lovely poem, so soft, soothing and flowing. You have some beautiful imagery as well. Thank you very much for entering my contest.
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good
i really liked this poem.u captured a sunrise wonderfully in words. my favorite part was "Night chills disappearing.
Shadows running to hide.
The sun in blazing glory.
Rays of light gently glide."
im not sure why but i really like this part. good write
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The nature in you, please expose...
Darling
I see the beauty
within which you hide
it is my duty
to share your pride.
Smoosh
Janet
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Well done
Not much else to say. I like this one a lot. It's calm and serene. Just what was looked for. Lovely!
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...hmmmm...it seems Seher is over-joyed with this write. Congratulations. I'm not as enthusiastic about it, as i've read all these lines before...but one thing i will agree on, is it's seamless flow and thematic continuity. don't get me wrong...it is an extremely pleasant read, and reasonably well-crafted - however, i felt it lacked that certain unique quality. i suppose this could be my error, so take my comm with a grain of salt. as a jazz musician, i have had discussions with the best of the best, like Herbie Hancock and Brandford Marsalis...even he comes back from off-stage, frustrated,...even though the performance was brilliant...he didn't find that "new thing"....the endless search for one's "own".
but within this genre and feel that Seher is looking for, you did brilliantly succeed. your talent shines through clearly and i wish you the best of luck in final judging!
(co-judge)
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very poetic and beutiful. i love the words you chose from this poem. It made the scenery seem very very very real. Thats how you make a good poem. Make it believable. And that is exactly what you did here. Great job and please keep writing. YOu have talent.
Witchress
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Congratulations on winning gold in this contest. This is less terse than many that were entered, but something caught the judge's eye.
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This is an excellent poem and a true terse verse.
It is a fine morning poem which, apart from a typo in line 3, is one of the most flawless I have seen tonight.
I think you meant Streams of yellow from the sun rather than steams of yellow from some other source.
I am very glad you took the trouble to resurrect this one for my competition.
Jim -
Great flow and such a serene and peaceful poem. This was a joy to read. Thank you for sharing
Soulful Woman -
WONDERFULLY DONE
I liked it the words just flowed together so well I had to read it twice. You could feel the words when you read them great write. -
wonderful descrition of sunrise i love the imagry here great job and good luck in your contest
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Wonderful writing
Oh wow. I love this. The imagery is brilliant in this piece. I was lost in this. I love poems/writings were the reader is lost within the story. This is really good. -
Excellent
The imagery in this poem is truly amazing. You have a very fluid style with great Nature imagery. I love what you so colorfully described in this poem. You do have amazing talent. Thank you for your wonderful comment on "Goddess Of Rain's Embrace." I truly appreciate it and I truly appreciate your talented pen, too. *Ivy Rose
Edited on Aug 30, 10:15 p.m. because ''. -
Bravo!
This IS very finely done, indeed!! Loved it! Bravo! -
YAY! Another really fine "feel good" poem that makes the reader appreciate beauty. You have a real talent for such poems..and I hope to read many more!
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I'm in agreement with the poet above me here. It's a very soothing piece, and you did a great job of showing your readers what was shown to you.
Short and sweet, and it portrays the mornings nicely.
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Excellent
This is such a wonderfully soothing poem. Makes sunrise truly come alive in the mind. Great job!
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