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Knowing You

Eluded sorrows,
Ever out done,
By forgiven mistakes.
Shadows upon your dreams,
Past tragedies fogged.
Forever evading lies,
From blunt tongues,
That draw blood,
Below the surface.
Smiling though,
Knowing demons.
Shining through crying eyes.
Tormenting struggle,
Of continuation.
Praying for a map,
Or a noose,
Any way to let go.
Something to aspire to,
Ever out of reach.
Offered hand,
Blindly bitten.
Tears corroding hearts,
Hidden from sight.
Heartaches upon your tired feet.

Author notes

this was actually wrote one night while i was drinking. its my veiws upon a loved one, whos been through alot, which has shaped them into who they are. although they dont always see that they hurt people, but they have the biggest heart i know, they can love still after everythng. and that my friends is amazing.
Written June 14th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Midnight Lace
    September 30, 2007

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    I love your word choices here. They speak to the very core of my being and inspire my own thought processes just as all good poetry should do. Keep your pen handy dear poet!
    midnight lace


  • Timespell
    September 21, 2007

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    I like your choose of words and phrases, they really show your emotions. But you have mixed them up quiet a lot, and this distracts the reader from your poetry.
    I would look at editing this piece.

    All the best

    ~t.s~


    • vix
      September 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks alot. however suprisingly this has been edited, and would make sense if you knew the person it was about...which i guess doesnt help your veiw much, lol.
      many thanks.
      vix


  • Powered by Tofu
    September 20, 2007

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    its kind of jumbled up, but then maybe the drinking could have done something to do with it, which it you think about it i suposse its a good time to write because your emotions flow out of you. but while emotions are the most important in poetry, the second most important is letting people in on what ur talking about in the poem, instead of just in the authors notes, and making sure it flows. you should keep your original copy, but play around with it, see if you can make it even better, because the emotions conveyed are great, pure and deep.
    -gooshawn <3 xoxo


  • God is my reality
    August 9, 2007

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    Wow, this is so dark, but beautiful. You did an amazing job with this. The imagery is really good. This poem is just WOW

1 - 5 of 5