division of soul
I can feel myself ripping at the seams
divinity so fine
but too hard to strive for
as I sit here
and the world is spinning
I am the animals that lurk in the trees
those who prowl the night
devoid of sanity
sanctity rotten and wretched in my eyes
so far from actual heaven
not even my mind believes in that
as I rock back and forth
to strive and crave for my long awaited goal
so many times have I taken the blade to my wrist
so many times has my soul died
only to be flung back into the world
surrounded by bright lights
not the lights of heaven
but the bright lights of a hospital
and the overwhelming smell of chemicals
that take and give life
surrounded by the righteous
who claimed to have "saved me"
ignorant fools
save yourselves from your own private hell
how dare you bring me back to mine
memories are all I have
memories and scars
both one and the same
sacred to me
as heroin is to the addict
three overdoses
and two suicide attempts later
I'm still here
and people wonder why I don't believe in God
this thing that is supposed to be merciful
Where was God's mercy
when I laid on my back four times
as I was raped of my innocence
at the age of five
you shattered my body
you scarred my soul
did that happen for a reason?
was that your divine plan for me?
so here I sit again
with that age old knife in hand
I can smell the blood as it runs
as the animals do
and I am enraged by it
as I thrive and dig in searching for
what I have lacked all my life
..inner peace..
lying here on the floor
only one thing crosses my mind
a pure and simple wish
as vision fades to black
.. a wish that in my next life
I come back as a tiger
strong and beautiful
but above all
ready
for the things I was not
in this one
Author notes
This is for xLonelyx5590x . You inspired this poem in me, and it comes from the recesses of my soul.. Thanks.
A Dark Deeds RULES!!!
Written June 13th, 2006
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I got the silver in the contest with this poem. I am glad you enjoyed the poem. It was really meant to be one stanza, but I felt there would be more emphasis on the seperate parts if I made it multiple stanzas. Thank you so much for your comment. I am very pleased that you liked it.
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Darkness!
so here I sit again
with that age old knife in hand
I can smell the blood as it runs
as the animals do
and I am enraged by it
as I thrive and dig in searching for
what I have lacked all my life
..inner peace..
A very powerful stanza of a powerful poem! It flows well, but I thought the first stanza was a bit long. But wow, what a dark poem! I enjoyed reading this, and I hope you did well in the contest!
SufferingFool
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thank you so much for your comment. This is a very personal poem. I'm glad so many people seem to think so ...
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glad you could feel this poem. eerie I guess would be a good way to describe it. Thanks alot!
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its dark, soulfull, deep and sad also its very personal. its great how you have managed that... wow!
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woot! An A+ for this poem . its dark and the reader reads the poem swiftly . the image here is dark and the poem creates a eerie feeling about splitting the soul though i love this poem a lot!
great work !
keep it upn best of luck!
PREETS
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i could totally relate to this poem i like it alot......especailly about the suicid and the drugs ..... that i know all about ...... and i really like it because you turned it into art not just something that every one gets mad and tells you to stop ,with out understanding that its not that easy to understand youself
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very dark and emotional.I like this
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this is an amazing and very emotional piece. im sorry u have gone through all this. great job on the poem, nd i realy hope u win! best luck to you
mysoulsdead -
if you go to my page you can read more of my work.. I'd appreciate it!
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excellent
this is the most powerful piece ive read "division of soul
I can feel myself ripping at the seams" that was amazing.. good luck in this contest you deserve to win... all of the different emotions into one it was amazing icant wait to read more of your work, keep it up Krissy
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Thank you so much for your comment and applause. I really appreciated it. Best of luck in the judging!
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i could tell just how personal this poem was to you, your emotions were clear. the piece was written wonderfully, and the end result was exceptional! thank so much for entering, best wishes.
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You know.. Sometimes you can't help relapse, but I wouldn't change anything that has taken place in my life regardless of how f*cked up it was. I agree that it does make me stronger, but I can't help but feeling as I do sometimes. I am glad you think this poem is good. I was hoping that you would since it is dedicated to you.. hehe.
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Thank you. I am glad you think this is an exceptional poem. Your kind words are accepted.
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Nightowl, you are one of my cherished friends, and your opinion is cherished as well, so please I would really love your opinion.. regardless of what type it is..
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Awwwww huney
I've never had anyone write a poem for me!! Okay now onto the poem!! 
You did nail your writing on a whole new personal level everything really jumped out in this; it was amazing. It sounds like you've been through a lot and yeah me too that doesn't mean cutting is the answer though sweetness
For the last two years I've been raped on and off by an ex boyfriends and because of that now I can't have children. I've lost so many friends to drugs and suicide I can't even remember how many and it would take too long to count. About a month and a half ago I say one of my best friends shoot herself in the head, and thats something I've never let out for anyone to know. Besides fighting the addiction to cutting I fight going back to drinking, weed and painkillers because I used to be HORRIBLE when it came to taking pills. I've tried suicide by overdosing, cutting even shooting myself in the head (gun jammed) yet I'm still here. I think when it comes to us it's saying something; we're not supposed to die yet, God isn't ready to take us away yet; I think its because he has more planned for us but hey when it comes down to it thats between you and the Big Guy.
This isn't they way we're supposed to feel or the way we're supposed to live. I know how you feel huney 
You don't have to feel like that. If there's anything I learned the shit I've had to deal with and the shit I still deal with helps me because when a friends comes up to me wanting to kill himself or a friends says she' sbeen raped I can help that person because I've been through it; I know how they feel. That could go for you. You have no idea how many people you could help by all the shit you've put up with. You're stronger than what you give yourself credit for and I think you could pull away from this is you wanted to I love ya hun, you did an awesome job on this piece and you know what? Believe it or not you CAN find inner peace; you just have to work your way down that road
♥ Jordanne ♥
Edited on Jun 14, 9:09 because ''. -
Excellent poem
Wow very deep and emotional poem, excellent write, I can feel your pain and despair. -
Now this is one really powerful piece and for once i really don't know what to say?? It is a personal topic and don't want to say the wrong thing or seem insensitive so i will just say that as usual it is written beautifully and skillfully and keep on doing your thing.
night owl
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