As I sit upon the throne and wonder,
There are so many things that I ponder.
How did they come up with the name Rocky Road?
Do you really get warts if you kiss a toad?
What is greatest thing that ever was made?
Could it be that nifty purple Kool-Aid?
I think of the many inventions we've seen.
And I wonder if there are any as good as caffeine.
My duty is done, it is time to go.
And then I realize, O God! oh no!
The toilet paper's all gone, what do I do?
What do I do with my butt full of pooh?
All of a sudden it comes to my mind.
The greatest invention we will ever find,
Is toilet paper, because it is so soft and gentle.
And for personal hygiene it is fundamental.
Author notes
Written June 13th, 2006
Option 2
In a list
A contest entry
- Just try and AmUsE me people.... by Eyes Wide Shut.
350 points, ended November 14, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT FUNNY! by angelfruitcake.
300 points, ended January 4, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5 options for the creative poet (13) by bananasfoster42.
525 points, ended May 27, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer Me Up... by 2lullabyhaven.
550 points, ended August 31, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is Unwritten? by Sprite.
1000 points, ended May 4, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me Laugh... by aboomer.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
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cute - so true! I had 3 big boxer dogs visiting yesterday - and the youngest tore up about 6 rolls of toliet paper! Had it rolled all through the house!
- and I thought, thank goodness I have some under some toliet-doll skirts until I can get to a store!
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest
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Reread. Love the pooh line.
Joyce
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This poem is ...
nothing short of cute and for all the contests that it's been entered in I can see why you got so many comments. A subject that falls short of ever being discussed as well so for that I say you have spunk! joy
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You were very successful at being funny. I cracked up. I love the idea of writing about toilet paper. It's right up there on my list needed things too. Love your thoughts. I especially like the last line. The flow there was great...
Thanks for entering my contest. ~ joyce -
Oh Yes!!
This ones right up my street for laughs.
I won't mention flow(pun) hahahah.
It does.
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Shamanicmusings
Thanks for stopping by and reading my poem. I am glad that you found it amusing and commented.
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...lol..this is humorous..the importance of toilet paper! going unnoticed!
All the best!
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crimsondew
I am glad that you were able to enjoy my indepth look at one of the tribulations of life.
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LOVE IT! Toilet paper is important...LOL Thanks for the laugh and good luck!
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Angel Of Heaven99
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It is appreciated.
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I love the ryhmes in this, thanks for entering it into my contest. lol
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2lullabyhaven
Thank you so much for your comments and for hosting the contest.
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HAHAHA! yes i think i must agree. toilet paper is definitly in the top 5 of greatest inventions, if not #1. thanks for the entry!
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bananasfoster42
Thank you very much for the commetns and the honorable mention. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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That is so true, good luck on the contest
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Thanks angelfruitcake
Thank you so much for your comments. They are appreciated.
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Thank you for your commets Lady Voldemort. I am glad that you enjoyed it.
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the title grabbed me, and the poem is just fucking hilarious.
'nuff said.
MORSMORDRE!
- The Dark Lady -
I like it, but you didn't read the rules or you just forgot to put what I asked in the authors comment box...
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Haha, this is funny, I actaully did laugh awhile. Wow, thanks for entering love, very much appriceated! Best of luck to ya.
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This is such a funny write. I love the part about purple kool ade. Its my favorite. LOL
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I really don't care about color, it's the softness that I am concerned about.
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very good
a very funny write.. thank you for sharing this with us but please make sure you stock up on the toilet paper in future...i wonder are you one of those that buys the softest in any colour or do you hold out for the one that matches your bathroom decor ?? good luck in the contest with this fun write
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Thank you so much for your comments mzblondemoments. This was a fun poem to write. I just kind of let my mind go. And that can very very,very dangerous.
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Excellent
personal hygiene is
certainly fundamental
but not all toilet
paper is so soft and gentle
but I don't look for
for the sand paper kind
cause I really don't
want to sand my behind
these are things that
I sit and wonder
when I go to the store
and remember my blunder
This is a really funny piece
Bravo on this one
excellent job!
~much love~
carol
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clever
Very funny! I agree that tp is the greatest invention. I keep a roll in my bedside chest for those middle of the night sneezes, I use it to wipe up small spills and to wipe my ferret's whiskers after he eats peanut butter. This brought me a real smile and a grin.
hugs WolfHeart -
Thank you so much for your comments heartquake. I am glad that you enjoyed it.
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Toilet Paper-licious!
roflmfao! this is funny AND it rhymes! i really like it! i wonder if my poems are as funny, the funny ones of course....
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Thank you for your comments TheKingsPawn. They are appreciated.
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good
A little too cutsey for my taste, but it did make me smirk, which is saying something. -
this was funny. i love it!!!!!
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Thank you so much for your comments blackday. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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OMG! I LOVE THIS! This is one of the best I've read so far. Just... it's so funny and it rhymes. I LOVE KOOL-AID!
-Chase -
Thank you for your comments solarman. I am glad that you enjoyed my pooh poem.
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Thank you so much for your comments TJCasser. They are greatly appreciated. I am glad that you enjoyed it.
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Thank you for your kind words La Luna Rosa. They are appreciated.
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You put a smile on my face and a giggle in my heart. Nothing like a good POOH poem to make the day a little brighter.
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It's really bad when I'm tempted to print out a poem to post in our restroom here at the office... if only to remind folks of what's really important.
Thank you for sharing it - I got a good chuckle out of it.
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You're fantastic.
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and commenting on it Social Hazzard 09. It is appreciated.
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Thank you so much for your comments Celticmoon. I am very glad that you enjoyed it.
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Well that was a topic ive never read about before lol. I liked it, it was very differnt than anything ive read before. Good Job. Much Luck!
-SH09 -
OK this was just too funny. I am still laughing here. To write something comical is one thing but to make it about toliet paper was completely unique and unexpected....lol A true piece of humor you have penned and a grand one at that. Well Done!
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poetry Marie-Lee. Your comments and kind words are greatly appreciated.
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Lmao! What a hoot!! This poem had me in tears laughing XD Oh so true we need toilet paper. I read it because the title grabbed my attention from what I was doing. Fantastic. You work wonders with ryhme and humour. Thankyou so much for featuring this.
Keep writing !!
~marie lee
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Thanbk you so much for your comments Jamila yadira. I am glad that my poem could bring a smile to your face.
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this is indeed a masterpeice , each word flowed magnificently together, a work of art
so damned funny i could not stop laughing...excellent piece here!!!!
love
jamila
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Thank you so much for your comments Allen0826. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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A wonderful read!
This is awesome! Some of us read, some of us talk on the phone, and some of us just sit on it and ponder the world!
LOL! I must admit I have done all of these things while sitting on it. Funny how we take it for granted thinking that it is always there when we need it. A delightful read, thank you for sharing this with me! The best of luck to you in the contest!
Allen0826 -
Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my poem NenelDuellen. Your comments are much appreciated.
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Thank you for your comments masterblaster. They are appreciated
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem DarkDayzInc. Your comments are greatly appeciated.
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Whew, imagining life without toilet paper would be horrible indeed *cringes at the details*. This poem actually made me laugh, I loved it. Congrats on the most wonderful rhyme and rhythm. Wonderful job.
Ashleigh <3 -
Hi, toilet paper is certainly a must and the bidet of course, funny how we take for granyed so many things until they are no longer there, all the best in the comp, Di
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Ummmm..... It was a funny poem, I liked the way that you wrote it. There are a few rough spots, like a couple of missed rhymes. The ending also fell kind of flat. It seemed like you had it, but you stopped for a little bit and came back to it and when you came back it didn't fit together right. But still, you got some talent.
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Thank you so much for your comments channelangel. I am releived to hear that about the warts.
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Thankyt you for your comments thewanderingsoul. They are appreciated.
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Thank you so much for your comments Bubble-Licious. I am glad that you enjoyed it.
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Excellent
Hey, I love this. It is an excellent write about a much needed item! Also, let me tell you, you don't get warts if you kiss a toad. I kiss my toad every day, and I have no warts Thank you for sharing this piece with us, and good luck in the contest
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lol..the things we ponder while on the job.
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amazing
Haha! I love it. This sent me flying to get my family to read the poem (we have 9 people living in a 4 bedroom house, so we are ALWAYS out of toilet paper, and yelling at each other to get some more ) This was very cute, I highly enjoyed it. I wish you luck in the contest, great write!
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Thank you so much for your comments Melodies. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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I wish you could have witnessed my grin as I read the last four lines, as that capped off a VERY ENTERTAINING POEM!
You are to be commended for broadcasting what is so TRUE!
A day without toilet paper would set the world off kilter BADLY!
Here is your for writing such a fine poem that I LIKE VERY MUCH! 
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