Panic sounds best when it's real,
as if I'm some creature who can't
taste the thrill, scream when you
should, but don't fake the pain,
if I find this true, your life
sustains, but longer still, while
I lobotomize, your every feature
I tantalize, rip and tear, sinewy fun,
as muscles tear from gristle, I'm never
done, once the sun goes down, the heavens
nightshades secure my doings, my ungodly
viewings of human features, I call for my
nurse, proclaim surgery is nigh, ask for
a scalpel, Receive a reply, but not from
my nurse, she was not, nor is not mine,
but from Sean, this person behind.
Into his sternum my blade replies, releasing
his insides but few dare show, this cuts too
damned shallow, for much blood to go, this is my
first incision, and so many more remain,
why kill him, with such brief lapses of pain?
I'll wait til the blood overflows in his eyes,
until the gargle of coagulated life, subdues his
cries, until a gasp he cannot whisper, will I release
him from my acts, thus sinister-
A dozen more lacerations an eighth inch thick,
just deep enough to watch as he ticks,
remain good man, remain til you're done,
remain til I may complete my fun, removal can be
so terse, the pancreas and liver, I find the worst,
but thirst for his fear protracts my tasks, I need him
to know his hell will last, as the dermis is torn,
and my blade sinks within, I feel this fellow shake,
and I merely grin,
"please, forgive what I did"
I do, but you must pay, for bleeding all over my
carpet today, I sink yet deeper, his eyes shut,
ah this is shock, but wait, he arises to my surprise,
I've apparently cut, and brought on demise, a misguided
blade opened his stomach, as I watch the acid, seeping and
running, a digestive dance across his chest, his heart melts
slowly, his life wanes slowly, I sit back and listen to Bach,
until my fine friend, may no longer talk.
Author notes
Written June 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Grossest thing I ever heard by Tconi.
888 points, ended June 29, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I must be insane. PREWRITES! by borrowing.moonlight.
720 points, ended July 30, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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haha this reminds me of repo! the genetic opera. you should watch it, you would really like this. this poem was very inventive and creative. way to go! thanks for your entry
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i reallyyyyyy liked this. so twisted and graphic!
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sppoky sick
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This is an impeccably written poem. I wans't expecting to get a poem like this entered, so it surprised me, but I absoloutely adore it!!
The gore, the torture, all portrayed with an eerie confidence in your writing. I have never felt so good about something so morbid!! Your rhythm was wonderful, and I was drawn into the poem right from the beginning.
"once the sun goes down, the heavens
nightshades secure my doings, my ungodly
viewings of human features"
This was a very well composed part of the poem that I really liked. The language you have used is very clever and oddly inspiring...
Thankyou for entering my contest!!
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Thank you much, I will be entering one im writing now very soon.
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Thank you for entering. Judging will take place later tonight, while the moon has risen...
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thank you.
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SICK AND TWISTED ( I like it )
Forgive the profanity but this is fucking awesome! Terrific imagery!! I loved the flow of your words and the putrid sickness it made me feel. Great write, you came right up on my expectations of this contest.. thank you so much for entering your twisted piece. I enjoyed reading it. You have talent here lad.. you sincerely do.
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It is unusual, but thought provoking
sinister imagery. Its a fast run on poem in free verse. I feel the poem has more than what appears on the surface. It's aboutthe cruel shattering of human relations. The pain instilled by the betrayal of a loved one is like slow death, lobotomizing each part of your body slowly,deliberately. Foolishfatso -
Well it didn't make me throw up. In fact I went on eating my sandwich. Pretty distasteful all the same, so I suppose it achieved its objective. Not normally something I would read or comment on, but didn't want your points to be completely wasted.
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this is disgusting....meh...where do you pull this from..
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Very nice, this is exactly the kinda thing i was lookin for! You made my stomach turn though, very impressive! Good Luck!
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