What says the tumbleweed of household past,
The rolling corner-creatures, half-aware
With static electricity, that cast
The barest, softest spider-shadow there?
What say the random threads of thinning cloth,
The slough of skin of generations gone,
The half-forgotten prey of mite and moth?
What sorry scraps to write our time upon!
But flotsam of domestic ebb and flow
Has whispers of a hundred thousand lives;
Each atom has an aeon’s afterglow,
And memory’s sharp brilliance survives!
To make dust talk – what magic we would need! –
But then what spells would make us hear, and heed?
Author notes
Written June 13th 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Brilliant Poems about Ordinary Things by Melodies.
300 points, ended June 24, 2006, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is Unwritten? by Sprite.
1000 points, ended May 4, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Responsum : Circumnavigation
If atoms spin round aeons' afterglow
pass preview present, future, recombined,
to causal layers add effective flow
in tune with energy, time realigned,
then what spells last beyond an augenblick
beyond beyond yet stay within within,
to spell out waft/weave linking thin and thick
as means to ends, through which ends' means begin.
What shadow seems, what light beam seams unzip,
is figment of imagination or
insight into eve's apple's core, skin, pip
to link past futures, those still still before
the universal orbit spun vibration
prepares for former circumnavigation ...
To make dust talk – what magic we would need
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Obviously, I read this. I cannot believe that I failed to comment! A beautiful poem about dust and all that it contains. Love the references to dead skin and atoms. This is a very clever poem. I especially like the phrase "softest spider-shadow." I also feel that the last line is perfect.
You are making this difficult to decide. ~ Joyce
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I can't help you out - I too know the hell of judging a contest. Thank you for your appraisal.
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Quite the imagery ...
about something that we seem to just shuffle from place to place. Your poem put it all under the microscope of thought and had I not read your introspection, I would not have given my dust a second thought, now I'll be more thought-full. joy
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Yes it's a straightforward English sonnet, Chase. I seem to dream in iambic pentameter these days - I wonder if there is a clinic I can go to? Thanks for the praise.
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I really like this. Very smart. So simple, yet you twisted this into something so... complex. Is this a sonnet? I really have no clue how to write them, but it looked like one.
-Chase -
Merc, I am trying to remember when I sold my soul to get this gift. Worryingly, I can't remember.
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excellent
I agree with Melodies, this is a brilliant poem. How you managed to magically animate house dust is incredible, and I think you have the ability to write anything if you want. Best of luck in the contest.
Mercury Rising -
Poe - stingy Mairi right back atcha. Thanks for your vote of confidence.
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Mairi, I'll never feel the same way about dustbunnies again...
It'll be a shame to have to sweep them up now...because I see
they are so much more than just dirt on the floor...so let's all
just live slovenly,, then we'll be surrounded by our little mite
friends, always....by the way almost forgot to tell you..
!!!!!THIS WAS GREAT!!!!!!...of course... lapoe...
oops...
one of your little corner creatures just flew into my
eye...
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Hey Sabindi, thanks for the compliment. I am mainly in this for the fun, I have to say.
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Awesome
Wow the competiton in this contest is fierce. What a truly wonderful poem this is, so full of magnificinet imagary and perfect flow. This is going to be hard to beat!! Good luck in this contest. Hugs, love and blessings. Marilyn -
Yes, I chose some half-obscure images for the dust, to give it a mysterious air. Glad you liked it. Thanks.
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amazing
This is great. It's sort of confusing to read the first time, but after several reads, it begins making more sense, and it's a great poem. Good luck in the contest, my friend. -
Well gee.
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A BRILLIANT POEM about an ordinary thing that is not ordinary at all! House dust speaks volumes about our lives. Can it be that the dust of great people still lingers on the hearth somewhere, only to be swept up and then settle somewhere else, and ultimately join with other elements to make a lovely flower grow? I LOVE YOUR POEM ABOUT HOUSE DUST!
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