I destroyed the only love I ever knew:
she said she loved me and I doubted her--
a worm of discontent inside me grew.
Because I would not trust her to be true,
(waiting for betrayal to occur)
I destroyed the only love I ever knew.
Although my reasons were indeed but few
for casting on her name an ugly slur--
a worm of discontent inside me grew.
To control it was more than I could do
and, my fevered mind reacting to the spur,
I destroyed the only love I ever knew.
But, although I tried to build anew
the love we had, to make it stir,
a worm of discontent inside me grew.
Now I know that I will always rue
the pain I let my jealous heart incur:
I destroyed the only love I ever knew--
a worm of discontent inside me grew.
Author notes
I have chosen option 1--the villanelle.
Written June 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Form and Rhyme Contest by Resurrected-heart.
300 points, ended June 22, 2006, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - French Form Contest by Ontarah.
1100 points, ended March 3, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEACH ME HOW TO WRITE A Villanelle by Swan song.
800 points, ended July 15, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My favorite poem!!! by Lola Green.
530 points, ended November 23, 2007, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I'm pleased to see this very fine villanelle was aptly rewarded, Bill. I have never attempted the form myself. Indeed, when we doubt our ability to love and be loved, too many lose a chance at proving it is a truth to be reckoned with. 
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This is very good and it is honest. You penned this wll because i feel you got your idea across and still kept the poem in rhyme and rhythm. I will read again
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A very deep and intense write, wonderfully executed in this form! One of the smoothest I have yet seen, to be certain! The content is well connected and the flow of both the timing and the story is very impressive, with a well done final stanza completing the entire piece!! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Peg
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Thanks, James, for your welcome comment. This is my first(and only),attempt at a villanelle so far. I find the form difficult, but rewarding.
Cheers,
Bill -
Very Good
Very rhyme was excellent - more than that - the choice of words was brilliantly executed - the last verse with the additional line was good as weel, a nice touch which added something to the piece
James
Edited on Nov 06, 1:18 because ''. -
Thank you, moon, for your perceptive comments and for your congratulations--much appreciated.
Cheers,
Bill -
Oh dear! How very tragic and sad to destroy the only love you ever knew. This poem is filled with the pain of sorrow, of loneliness, of parting and of dreams that are left shattered. I think the flow of this was very good as was the choice of words and imagery. As they say, for any relationship to flourish, trust and love is essential. When doubt creeps in, love seeps out. That worm of discontent needs to be stomped underfoot each time it arises in the mind of the other lover. Also, they say, what you are looking at, grows! This is a law of the universe. If you were waiting for betrayal to occur, and looking forward to it, it was bound to happen. It is a tough lesson of life I've learnt at an early age, to always look forward to and hope to possess all and only good things. Once a true lover is doubted, a knot of uneasiness is shaped up between the two lovers. Untangling that is a Herculean and sometimes, an impossible task. This poem left me with a long sigh. Thank you for teaching me a new word - rue(meaning repent/regret).
Heartiest congratulations on winning the trophy!
Best wishes,
Charishma
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Thanks,-Belle, for your kind congratulations--much appreciated.
Cheers,
Bill -
Congrats on this amazing villanelle! A well-deserved trophy, to say the least. So nice getting to know you through this contest, Belle
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Thank you, Resurrected-heart. With so many good poems in the contest, it means a lot to achieve a place.
Cheers,
Bill -
Silver Trophy
Great job and congratulations. This is good writing in a difficult form. You should be proud. God has blessed your pen. Keep up the good work and God bless you.
RH -
Thank you, Anna, for your very kind and encouraging comments--really pleased you like my poem.
Cheers,
Bill -
This is splendid Bill. Very well done. Usually I am not a fan of Villanelle's, but this is really an exception. This is so naturally done. I wish you good luck in the contest, for you deserve to win. Great poem. Anna.
Edited on Jun 16, 4:33 because 'typo'. -
Thank you very much for your kind comments, Poetryality--I'm pleased you like my effort.
Cheers,
Bill -
P.S. Glad it is written with an imaginative pen. LOL
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This is melancholy but beautous! I love villanells, and have written a few in my lifetime. This one flows effortlessly.
There is a scorn of "discontent" that weighs heaviest on the heart. Let it fly into the heavens above, and relive you of the guilt. We sometimes discover long after a thing is through that we were mistaken. That is a human character trait that we all possess.
An extremely well written poem my friend. I embrace the truths you've so eloquently shared in this writ. I wish you the very best in this challenge.
Much LOVE ♥
Renee
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Hi, janet mary. Thanks for your response--I don't know about it being a winner, but I sure enjoyed the challange of writing it!
Oh, and it's not true, just imagination.
Regards,
Bill -
this was outstanding and its got winner written all over it. I loved the way you put it together. I hope its not true.....sigh
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