Damn man, I got so much to say,
I don’t know where to even start
I don’t talk no bullshit
I'm speaking to you straight from the heart
Flow ALL my happy thoughts and my issues
at you in my poetic form of art
My family’s bitchin and hatin
makes my fuckin head thump
it tears my guts apart
You know I LOVE my old man,
he’s the one that NEVER fails
to make me smile
Just to have this life together with him,
I’ve waited around for quite awhile
I picture him there in front of me one day
when I’m walkin down the aisle
But a black cloud of trouble follows him
now he’s going back on trial
So family listen please,
I’m not out being stupid
or losing my fuckin self control
I’m hanging out at home,
minding my own business when I twist and roll
I’ll still be lovin that same convict man
when he's out of prison on parole
They need to stop talkin shit about the us
and shut their fuckin holes
All the drama they're makin 'bout us
is startin to take its fuckin toll
HE makes me HAPPY
finally my life feels complete and full
Ya see my family hates my con man,
they hate the fact I carried his seed
You’ll see how much it pisses me off
in all this crazy poetry of mine you read
Hypocritical assholes hatin on me
because I like to smoke me up some weed
Relaxin and smokin some weed
ain’t like I’m committing some fuckin evil deed
They want me to be what THEY want,
don’t give a fuck what I want
or what I need
But listen up folks,
they won’t succeed,
even when they beg and plead,
Because their advice I never heed
more anger is all that shit will breed
Hey ma, who taught me how to grow reefer
in the fuckin yard out back?
Hey dad, who gave me my first Budweiser
and my first shot of Jack?
Don’t pretend it never happened
cuz I know you’re bullshit is just an act
You two got me started
and I fuckin like it
that’s all a fact
So stop makin it sound like I’m a fuckin idiot
and I’m smokin crack!!
That’s a straight fuckin lie
you’re judging ME,
that bullshit’s whack
They don’t like it that in my own backyard
I like to drink some beer
They think I’ll become an alcoholic or something;
it’s like their biggest fear
I want a cold one at the days end,
but they don’t listen,
they don’t fuckin hear
I’m sitting in the grass by the fire,
I ain’t out in a car somewhere tryin to steer
Give me some advice people,
give me a shoulder
lend me an ear
They're all about everything
I do to THEM to disappoint
Damn, I’m a big girl now;
don’t you think I got a valid point?
I’m HAPPY when I sit outside
and drink a beer
and smoke a joint
I never them what to fuckin do
or how to live their lives
They shouldn’t make my back a fuckin target
and start throwing knives
Got me eatin xanax because
the stress of their shit
gives me fuckin hives
Stop the shit about a beer and a joint
and all the drugs you THINK I’m on
Stop talkin shit about the man I LOVE
just because now he’s labeled a con
Sorry if this flow comes off soundin sappy
and my bullshit dilemma is a little crappy
My family needs to back up a step,
let ME decide what makes ME happy
Author notes
I never tell anyone else how to live their lives and it pisses me off when I keep getting told to change things. I'm happy with everything just like it is so everyone needs to back the fuck off me before I fuckin blow!! So whatcha got here is another one of my pieces venting some frustration over just trying to be happy. Hope it works for your contest!!
"Something In The Way"
Written June 13th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- |Teenage Wasteland| xFuck Up's & Screw Up's Enter Herex by Dead Star--x.
300 points, ended June 15, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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i think family likes to think expecially parents that they are in complete control and when they aren't and they know it they talk ahit-they talk shit because its all they can really do-let em bitch, dont let em get to you-fuck them if they want to talk thier lies-its not hurting any.... & besides beer? wtf? its legal and a joint ooo so bad-in Amsterdam they have fucking coffee shops for that-honestly, weed is actually better for you than a lot of things soo... dont let them get to you-
PrettyX
[& thanx for following the rules, you are the first one out of 3 i havent had to DQ already] -
I like the poem... a good little rant at people that feel they can control everyone else, but in fact can't even control themselves...
Thankyou for entering, much appreciated
Ryan
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'I’ll still be lovin that same convict man
when he's out of prison on parole'
You're stronger than most people out there then. The second they hear something different... they're out. I'd love someone to be like that for me. Someone who ain't stronger than me. But be careful though.
'I never them what to fuckin do
or how to live their lives
They shouldn’t my back a fuckin target'
I don't know if you missed words out here or if I just didn't read it properly.
'My family needs to back up a step,
let ME decide what makes ME happy'
I loved the ending. I really think this too. At the moment I'm trying to give up all the drugs and that... but it's proving harder than what it's worth.
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Thanks for the great comment on this piece, skitza! And thanks for catching that typo, fixed now!
~Lori -
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You're welcome! It really annoys me if I find a typo in my writing... and no one told me about it.
Lauren
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Thanks so much Jane for the wonderful comment on this piece! I truly appreciate it!
~Lori~ -
Brilliant
Such an honest and free flowing piece. I love it. Well done -
Thanks for the great comment Frakture!! It's very much appreciated!! I agree with you that some of the rhyming might sound a little bit forced, but initially when I wrote this, I was listening to some rap and I had a beat going. So when it's read to that particular beat, I personally think it sounds much better.
Truthfully, it was just written so I could rant and vent cuz I was feeling pretty torqued!! I'm not an alcoholice and I'm not a drug addict, I just like to chill a little when I'm at home and I'm sick of being judged over every decision I make in this fuckin life.
Sorry to hear you're the black sheep too! I feel ya. I got the tats and the piercings myself, which trust me, adds to the drama! LMAO
Anyways, if I get some time today or tomorrow, I'll try to touch up the flow, see if I can 'un-force' it somewhat! If I edit, I'll let you know so you can check it out again before you judge. I'm still VERY new to freestyling! I probably wouldn't even have given it shot but my AP best friend, hit-man, and loveslave, Convicted Felony, made me try it and I fell in love with it! All my freestyle piece on here are labeled the same as this, ADULTS ONLY. I'd love it if you'd check them out sometime and give me some feedback! I'm gonna shut up now!! Too much coffee this morning! Take Care Frakture!
~Lori~
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Ink... wow... what do you know....finally some blunt no holds barred honesty from a contestant.
I too, am the family's black sheep. Not for the drugs or alcohol, but for the tattoos and body piercings. I definitely identify with what you're going through.
I enjoyed the piece, however I felt that your rhyme scheme was a little forced at times.
I just want a cold one at the end of the day,
but they don’t listen,
they don’t fuckin hear
I’m sitting in the grass by the fire,
I ain’t out in a car somewhere tryin to steer
So give me some advice people,
give me a shoulder
and lend me an ear
My family is all about everything
I do to THEM to disappoint
Damn, I’m a big girl now;
don’t you think I got a valid point?
I’m HAPPY when I sit outside
and drink a beer
and smoke a joint
Right after "I ain't out in a car...." is where the rhyme scheme goes a little awry. Maybe if I heard this with you're intended flow it would sound better, but reading it makes it sound a little choppy.
Otherwise... I enjoyed the hell out of this because I finally got an piece that wasn't afraid to use "Naughty Language"! Damn sensitive people! -
Thanks so much CountryCousin for the awesome comment on this piece!! It's much appreciated!! I was quite perturbed when I wrote this and going through alot of family drama! Could ya tell I was a little pissed off?! This was one of the "freestyles" I've tried writing. My teens think it's kinda cool that mom can rap! Thanks so much for reading my rant! Take Care!!
~Lori~ -
Damn fine rant.
Well as rants go, this one rocks. You know what I always said stranger often do better than family. Believe we all have our share of those family members that just flat out piss you off. Oh how I wanted to say this same thing to certain ones in my family. Where I live you had to say it but be nice like being nice to a gorilla with bad breath. You pretty much said it. I like rants like this because for me it is realistic. -
Thanks Sarah for reading this piece, Convicted Felony encouraged me to vent this bullshit out in a write. I get so sick of being judged for the things I do, which in my view is harming no one. Like last night, we sat in the backyard around a fire and drank a few beers and burnt a few, roasted corn on the fire and had steaks on the grill. Who the hell did that hurt? Everyone was smiling and happy and fuck all the assholes who wanna judge me cuz I smoke a little weed. I get to make my choices, it's my life and this is still America right? I'm a very non-judgmental person and all I want is the same respect. Not likely to happen, but that's simply all I want. Thanks for reading this piece sweets!!
~*Mom*~ -
Damn!! This shit is fucking GREAT! I love it!!! Every little bit of it I love. That's right, tell 'em to get off your fucking back, they sound like a man's dick with his sac constantly attached. Damn, back da fuck up peoples!!! LOL!!! I completely agree with you, they should give you your personal space. They act like you're this devilish person it sounds like. I'm no druggy or an alcoholic, yet I also agrre that I like to have some kinda drink and do a little puff puffin of some weed. It's very relaxing especially if you have tons of pent up tension. Now if it started to negatively impact your life then ok that's a different story, but that's not how it is. And who the fuck is anyone else to tell you who to love and/or who to be with. That's your heart and I'm sure you're smart enough to make your own relationship decisions. It's great how you still do the things that YOU want to do, instead of changing yourself just to make others happy. Keep On Keeping On!!!! That's what I do. My adoptive family abandoned me because of how I look and people I like (lesbian) but I had a choice to be completely lonely and miserable and unhappy and have a family that is unhealthy and selfish, or to have no family except my brother and you, and be happy with who I am and how I look and be able to be with whomever I want, and I chose the second option even though it still greatly saddens me that my family ditched me after specifically picking me. But I do NOT and WILL NOT EVER regret my choice to remain loyal to myself and to my likings!!!!
Love,
Sarah -
Thanks for the comment TragicalyOptimistic!! Great contest!!
~*Lori*~ -
WOW!...........ummmmm i dont even know what to say to that was was crazy. good job. brvo
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Thanks so much d-o-d for the kickass comment and your applause !! This piece was an easy one to write!! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!!
~*Lori*~ -
Holy shit this is incredibly strong!! I hope this shit gets sorted out soon ay, and damn straight there's nothing wrong with smoking the odd joint and having a drink to relax! Kickass poem!!!
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Thank you so much melo fool for your great comment and applause!! It's very appreciated!! I'd be happy to have you in my AP family! I have some of the most wonderful people and talented poets in my family and they are incredibly supportive. I'm sure they would all welcome you! I still have no nieces, would you like to have an auntie?? Just let me know and I'll add you. Take Care Hun and thanks again!
~*Lori*~ -
Awesome
this was awesome such a strong piece great work I'd write more but I gotta make it quick but I do have one thing to say "I'LL BE PART OF YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!! mine SUCKS!!!!!!!! -
you're welcome mama.
love you
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Thanks hun for the cool comment!! I really appreciate you reading it. I know there was alot of swearing and that really offends some people but I was really aggravated when I wrote!! Thanks again!! Take Care!!
~*Lori*~ -
WOW..... (Speechless)
That was so good sis,
just like the others i
have read... You really
have a talent, i usually
dont like swearing but it
made the reader know how
angry you were/are....
Keep it up!!!
xXx -
Bravo!! Well said. I have a very DEAR friend who's family and 'friends' I'd love to say something similiar too. Great job on this. Hang in there. Thank you for sharing. Jeannie D Hunter
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Thank you so much darlin!! Yo Ma really appreciates all the sweet ass things you say!!
Love Ya
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Thanks big for the applause and the sweet ass comment AmberLeigh. (I got a cousin named Amber Lee!) I'm glad, and also sorry, that you can relate to this piece. It's not the best place to be but it will get better. I hope you check out some of my other work and give me some feedback. I'd really appreciate it. I'll be reading some of yours very soon. Again, thanks and take care!!
~*Lori*~ -
DAmn girl!!!! That was one of the best things i have ever read in my life!!! Plus its like wow, because i am going through like that same shit, well not really with the family, but my ol' man is back in prison, and no one in my family wants me to be with him cause hes a "con" Well i love him and thats all that matters, we also have a baby together, and there IS NOTHING WRONG with smokin some bud and drinkin a little beer!! I hear ya on this one, and this was an awesome write!! i felt like it was wrote for me kind of just because i am going through this shit right now!! Thanks for sharing though, i love your flow!! Keep on keepin on!! Keep on writing!! _MuchLove_
-AmberLeigh- -
mama, you said it. dis is fuckin raw as fuck yo. i loved dis shit. you make me happy i'm happy you can speak from yo heart and flow at da same time. i know you ain't scared to rhyme.. haha listen to me i'm fuckin rhymin here yo. dis is tight mama. i love it . you don't stop whatchu doin you got some mo' fuckin talent yo. n alotta people don't got dat.
love you mama,
yo baby girl -
Thanks Melon for the kick ass comment!! I was sooo glad that Felony had this contest cuz I had some things to spew about!! Thanks for reading this piece sis, and I got the silver for it!!
~*Lori*~ -
Hey sis another great poem straight from your big open heart I love your words they ring so true even down to the hives they give you yes it's true I get them too from the stress indeed it makes my heart bleed, I hear you sis I'm right there with you and keep smoking that weed.
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Thank you kindly FrostBite!!
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Congratulations
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Big thanks jules for your kick ass comment!! I was definitely blowing off some steam in this piece!! I appreciate you reading and applauding this. You don't know how bad I'd like to say these things!! But instead I keep the peace and write it all out. It's better than nothing!! Thanks again!!
~*Lori*~ -
Lori excuse me while I curse holy shit that was bloody good reading, it wasn't a little rant it was a HUGE one, wouldn't you love to be able to say this to peoples faces !! I know I would like to say it to my parents !!!
Well written and always a pleasure to read !! xxx -
I love ya hun!! Thanks for giving me a reason to bitch and rant and blow off some pent up bullshit!! You know I got alotta fucked up problems right now and I haven't written anything for many days but I have to write for you!! Thanks for being my reason babe!! If you're not leaving for work, sign on mssgr and bullshit wit me!!
Much Love Hunny~
~*Lori*~ -
LOVE IT!!
To be HONEST...I was gonna write a flow for this contest and have the contestants write a "verse" topping or replying to mine...but after reading your email I decided to do this. Yeah...you influenced this contest hunny. And once again..you blew my mind as I read on....Thank you for your personal words baby.
~ Your Only Felon..Adam -
Thanks Kitty!! I really appreciate it!! Glad you liked this piece!!
~*Lori*~ -
Magnificant
I LOVE IT!!Good job!! -
Thanks Coke!! I really appreciate your applause and kick ass comment!! I live entirely too close to my extremely judgemental mother, like right next door!! Distance would be the best thing for both of us right now but its not feasible so here I shall stay, dealing with her bullshit and writing freestyles like my teenagers!! Thanks so much for reading this frustrated, aggravated, pissed off piece of mine!!
~*Lori*~ -
i pictured you with a mike in your hand doing a rap slam or whatever they're called
i enjoyed the poop outta this! i've often felt the same way till i finally put distance between my family and i. i keep much of my life to myself now and i can tolerate them now. of course they all live hours away too
the earthy language fits this to a 't'. actually i swear worse than this
stick to your guns
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Thanks Tracey for the applause and sweet comment!! I'm really feeling the need to vent anger and frustration lately. Sometimes it might be offensive but it's good for me to get rid of it. Once its written, I can let go of some of it. Thanks as always for reading!! I really appreciate it!!
~*Lori*~ -
Thanks so much for the applause ck!! It's always appreciated!! Have you noticed I'm blowing off alotta steam here lately!! LOL Don't see that ending anytime soon!! Thanks for reading this piece hun!!
~*Lori*~ -
wow heavy stuff awesome strong write my friend
Tracey.
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excellent
Way to sound off hamiltonhottie, I've said it before and I'll say it again when it comes to letting it all out, you are the best. Keep up the awesome poetry. -
Thank you truly baby girl!! Mama appreciates your comment and your love very, very much!! You really are the coolest chick!! Trust me, the haters won't get me down, they just fuel my fire and it will be burning strong for a long time to come!! Miss talking to ya hunny!!
Luv Ya~
Yo Mama
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Loved it!!!
wow mama
...
in my opinion ur best write yet. You put all ur feelings and the more...ur life into this write...if i could I would applaud u infinity. Good luck in the contest.I
u and if anything, ur one of the stronger people on the Ap,or in general, so I know if anybody, u can learn to live life and survive this little game,"survival of the fittest"
wow,amazing deep write.
-ur daughter,
a coolchick
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Wolfheart, you have no idea how much it means to me that you understand how I'm feeling and you don't judge me by it. That's all I'm really asking for, for people not to look down their noses at me like they're so much better than me. Everyone does things that they might not be very proud of but I'm an adult and quite capable of making my own decisions. I don't judge others and I don't like to be judged myself. Thanks so much for reading this piece and being a kind and understanding friend. It means the world to me!!
~*Lori*~ -
sad
Dearest, NO matter what you do - there is someone who will look down on you. I struggled all my life to have someone love me, and failed every time. Though the language is realisticly strong, I was mesmerized by every word. "You can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself... " Ricky Nelson...who died when a crack pipe exploded in a plane taking him to a concert. So, since I feel a sisterhood here with you...you make you happy. They will find something else to dog anyway. hugs WolfHeart -
Thanks Carol for the applause and sweet comment. I'm just fed up with everyone telling me how to live my life and why I should change things and it's pissing me off. I am happy with things as they are so why can't they just be happy for me. Ughhhhhh!! Thanks for reading Sis!!
~*Lori*~ -
Oh SIS,
I agree with Lady H dont give a shit what others think!!! You know what makes YOU happy and that is all that matters. You are an adult and you can make your own decisions if no one likes it then thats just too f-ing bad.
Great write
best of luck to you in the contest
~much love~
carol
Edited on Jun 13, 1:50 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks big time Lisa!! I really don't give a shit what they think. They need to back off or it's not gonna be pretty!! lmao I just get sick of being told what to do like I'm still 5 yrs. old. I'm a big girl, I'll make my own choices and my own mistakes. Thanks for the applause sis!! Take Care!!
~*Lori*~ -
As long as you're happy you shouldn't give a shit what others think. It's your life to live! Good luck in the contest!
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