(inspired by the movie, Closer)
We never get to look
closer. We just look
then we stop.
I could turn the wrong way,
get hit by a cab.
You could lie to the driver
and say I’m yours
you could lie and lie
till it becomes your truth
you could own me
in your world
but in mine
all you own of me
is another lie I created
one that I couldn’t live
so I simply leave
Because I’ll never stop
looking
I lie to arrive
at the truth
Piles of lies this world
is built upon
Because I have no time
to stop and look.
All I do is look and then stop
at that.
The seconds in between
I create what I want to see.
A bittersweet ending, the romance of
you seeing my name
on one of the hero’s graves
Seconds I neglect
to scrutinize
because I’m human
I can’t trust
my own eyes.
Author notes
Written June 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Your Prophesied Love by x dark fairie x.
1000 points, ended July 25, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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You could lie to the driver
and say I’m yours
this one caught my attention, too
[siguro kasi Filipino tayo]
Finding something sensual from you...oooohhhh
it's nice when we get out of our comfort zone sometimes
although I can sense some hesistancy...
But I love this actually
I'm digging the scene I visualized here
mmmmm
Anna Lee
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You could lie to the driver
and say I’m yours
This one caught my eye in a different way this time. The whole piece came more sensually this time. Like a second flute of Chardonnay.. Mmmmm.Chardonnay -
wow, this is good, i liked the build-up but prefered the end. unfortunatly, i have never seen the film you metioned and believe that i may have a better understanding of the poem if i'd seen this film but nethertheless i enjoyed the read... this was my favourite part A bittersweet ending, the romance of
you seeing my name
on one of the hero’s graves
i thought it was great and it held so much truth and really made me think. it just seems to get better with each read, thank you so much for sharing and for entering my contest. great work, well done -x-x-x- -
That second to the last stanza was very powerful. This had a sad wistful, yes and angry too, feel to me when I read it. I enjoyed the read.
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i agree this is very well written! you express your point very well here and it was a plesure to read ..keep up the great work
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this is great really well written and a plesure to read well done and thanks for sharing!
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this was a quite anguish fuilled write... most people do blind themselves to the truth for the very fact we don't want to believeanything is wrong...peace and harmony...shzoosy
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Good poem
Complex thoughts, such a mixture of love, distrust, anxiety.And fear of the future.The opening lines "We never get to look
closer. We just look
then we stop" express the regret about the lack of substance in the relationship; and the fragility of feelings and expectations is portrayed throughout."The seconds in between
I create what I want to see." and "Seconds I neglect
to scrutinize
because I’m human" also show fear of truth and substance. And possibly a threat in "A bittersweet ending, the romance of
you seeing my name
on one of the hero’s graves" or possibly just fear of what might be...so much angst but well written.
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thanks for the comment.
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Excellent poem
Your poem made me stop and think, poem is full of love and sadness. I really loved your write, keep up the wonderful work!!!
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