I hate

I hate

You say you are sorry.
You say "I hope you aren't hurt"
When inside you know what hides.
The suicidal urge.
You know it drives me mad,
    To see you choose him over me.
I wasn't ever considered.
    I wasn't even thought of.
You know it hurts me deep inside but do you care?
    I say no.
I hate you today,
    I'll hate you tommorow.
         I might even hate you for all of my life.
I hate the way you fuck with my head,
I hate the way you always win.
I hate the way you hurt me.
I hate myself for letting you.
I hate the way you smell,
    god you smell good.
I hate the way you feel in my arms.
    god you fell so good.
Why can't I get away?
    Far away form you?
I hate this feeling, up and down as the wind blows.
If this is love, then love sucks, let me off the road.