She was screaming at the back door
before i let her in she was..
pale, sparkling perfection against the
ivory skyline.
She asked me for tea and I asked her to stay, she said
I cant believe in magic if I dont have any faith
But the numbers climbed up far too high and we're
In the same pit we started from with a
Bad case of self hate
(I wish I was okay)
When I look into my eyes against the
..mirrors of my distortion I dont see her there
She left me a note before she left one day and..
She said I cant believe in magic if I dont have any faith.
Author notes
Mind at war
I wish she would stay.
Written June 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- If Music Could Speak to Poetry . . . by and the tide rises.
500 points, ended September 8, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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The flow of this poem is organic because it is conversational, and there is inherent music in conversation.
The opening lines grab my attention. I want to know what's going to happen.
The way you positioned the rhymes in this works well because nothing is head-on, it's subtle yet keeps a good rhythmic pace.
The few images you use are gorgeous. Thanks for entering!! -
Different... but it just became a quick favorite. Better than anything I've read in a long time.
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This kind of reminded me of Strawberry Gashes,
sadly I don't know who she is, a reference to someone else or a piece of yourself, but what I do know is that I am always captivated by your words.... ...I just dropped my salsa, but that's way beside the point.. o.o;
Anyways, your one of few writers of whom I somehow know in some way that has something to pick out between the words, rather than straight up meanings or nonsensical lines... it's puzzling, but perfect. I haven't commented too much before, but then again, I rarely do, just know you have a fan over here. :]
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