melancholy will sit naked by the windowsill sometimes
as your eyes scream hazel
i
am
idiot
savant
alone under the savage stars it will count its midnight stitches
as your summer freezes
i
ache
for
you
melancholy will sit naked by the windowsill sometimes
unaccompanied by tears
Author notes
Idiot savant: someone who seems less intelligent than normal people but is unusually good at one particular thing
Written June 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- Prewrites! by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 19, 2008, 116 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
"alone under the savage stars it will count its midnight stitches"
ah, this is fantastic! i love the feeling i get from this piece; it's well structured [and the structure connects with the meaning, unlike in that dirty pretty bullshit], and the brevity works well.
thanks a ton for the entry!
--cristina -
interesting
I like "midnight stitches" -
Breathtaking!!
Oh Eva! what a poet, so avant-garde, dripping with enlightenment, taking modern poetry to new heights. I've not seen anything like this on ap at all
-
I love this one.
Absolutely a stunning piece of work.
'savage stars' after 'savant' - I like your picking up the vowel sound and carrying it down as well as your use of words beginning with m and s throughout the poem.
This along with a great musicality brings this short, concise piece together beautifully.
Excellent work. -
Excellent
oh this is gorgeous, i love the way you structered it, and repeated the message at the end and the last line was perfect: "unaccompanied by tears" that really... makes the difference in the poem, you know? -
Thanks.
Good luck with judging!
-
You single handedly made judging this contest really hard for me..ok, so it was more than just you, but this is brilliant...
-
I really enjoyed the imagery in this piece, the form impressed me, and the message was well stated. Awesome work, thank you for writing this
-
excellent
WOW, just WOW. This piece is wonderful. Very intense, amazing use of words, great imagery and of course... very melancholic indeed.
"So well thy words become thee as thy wounds"
I take a bow my friend.
Edited on Jun 12, 6:15 because ''. -
Whoa, that was intense. Now I'm even more happy to have received praise from you - you've got a wonderful way with words. I loved the idiot savant reference. I'm a big fan of obscure images or metaphors, they make a piece for me.
-
heh was trying to find one of your poems with not many comments to review but there arent any such a testiment to the quality of your writting which i would fully agree with all comments this is such a unique structure and a great poem. thanks for the comment on my elergy it was really appreciated
-Gafa- -
Upsetting in a way I can't quite put my finger on. This is a simple, short poem that is terribly sad, I love the repeated line 'melancholy will sit naked by the windowsill sometimes', that was the part that affected me most.
*hugs*
Great stuff
(pusher) -
I really like the format! Word choice is powerful - great job!
-
wow, this is extremely deep, i like your format, its different. keep up the great work!
~*Kris*~ -
This is really moving.It was very sad and well melancholy.LOL.Keep up the good work.Hope to read more by you.Thanks for sharing this with us.
~Krys~ -
ouch! I frikin love this piece! I have no more words for it. I loved how it ended. Great Job
-
Melancholy is a disease. I should know since I have suffered from it. However, things can get better. Just take it one day at a time and it helps when you have good friends.
-
this is indeed,a very sad and yet, some other emotion comes to me that I can't quite think of right now. umm....anywyas, I do like it when forms are twisted. I think they can tell a lot about the poem as well.
-
This piece was full of melancholic emotions. There was imagery, as well as a metaphor. Is it the sadness that sits bare, by the window sill, or the love that lies bare?(The question was rhetorical). I found the vocabulary usage impressive. You called yourself an idiot "savant" which meants that you were admitted, if I am correct. I found that you used these words to your advantage and that you have reason to be proud of this poem of yours. Keep up the great work and may the melancholy fall to defeat in a battle with happiness!
-
love this soooo so much, its very simple with few words and a very different out of sorts flow but i really like it and deffinitly think it works. you can feel so much emotion, from each and every line.
-
I love the structure of this poem. You worded things wonderfully, and it flowed quite well. I must say I really enjoyed this one. Oh and you picked a good title as well. Very nice work.
-
The repetiton of the line "melancholy will sit naked in front of the windowstill somethings," works well although this is not a very long poem. The use of phrases such as "midnight stitches," and "summer freezes," are original and give the poem a mood. You use your diction very well to sculpt this poem.
-
WONDERFUL WRITE
Our sad times are indeed so very hard to deal with at times.
-
Thanks babe. And you don't suck.
-
This poem is a great reminder of how much I suck.
This is amazing. -
Hey. Yes it's all personal... I can't write about things I don't feel. As for what bait I'm using... I don't know, I just write what comes out I guess.
Don't feel bad about not knowing "savant". It'a a french expression. Here's what my dictionary says: "Idiot savant: someone who seems less intelligent than normal people but is unusually good at one particular thing" Think Rainman. Ugh. Btw, I have a big problem with describing people as "normal" and making definitions of others as opposed to "normal". It's just... wrong. Anyway... just a side-note.
Thank you for the comment and the applause. I really value your opinion you know. : ) -
Thanks, Robi. I was going for the atmosphere... I'm not even sure why I went for that structure, it just felt right somehow. I'm really glad you liked it.
-
If I write a poem about sadness it seems quite jolly compared with "silence".What bait are you using to capture your ideas and words are they all personal?
The first line pictures someone very sad,the stark background enhances this even more so."As your Summer freezes" sounds permanent.!!?
P.S. I had to look up the word "savant".(just shows how thick I am.)
Well done,a true modern poet. -
There is a great atmosphere in your poem. Its structure has a sense of walking down steps through time although the poem seems to go full circle aslo. I like this one a lot. Robi
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
