Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

On Enlightenment (Crown Cinquain)



Subtle
Elusively
Waiting right before you
Kept in corners of the moment
Poised

Playful
Wanting notice
Without ostentation
Delighted in overflowing
Your mind

Content
Fulfilled within
Eternity filled clicks
Slight movements of the metronome’s
Counting

Gentle
Sensually
Wrapping your consciousness
Within the folds of the cosmos
For fun

Patient
Lenient teacher
Slapping you awake, then
Allowing time between lessons
For growth




.

Author notes

CROWN CINQUAIN Ea 5 stanza cinquain chain
Line 1 - 2 syllables
Line 2 - 4 syllables
Line 3 - 6 syllables
Line 4 - 8 syllables
Line 5 - 2 syllables  

Written June 9th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • TJCasser
    June 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I do so love cinquains. Though, after reading yours (as most of mine tend to be humerous), I'm impressed - I do, actually, feel more enlightened. Thank you for sharing it, and best of luck in the contest.


  • InnerSpirit
    June 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful write, eloquent, impressive and filled with emotion. A lovely, lovely write.

    love,
    Clautje

  • GarbageCan
    June 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow! this ia really really good, I love theimagry and flow to it, the word choice is simply wonderful ,really great job on this!


  • HeavenonEarth
    June 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Barefoot,
    I am speechless!
    What a way to present this to the readers and how to true it is how it comes about for us in our daily lives..
    Impeccable! Thank you! Thank You! Thank YOu!
    Love, Life and Light~
    ~Joy


  • Riddlebird
    June 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like it. it has a very Zen feel to it in it's use of complimentary symbolism and it's methodical and meticulous flow. Of particular note, the second and fourth stanzas are great for showing that enlightenment doesn't alwasy take itself seriously. That more than anything is the stumbling block that trips people up on the path to higher wisdom. An altogether beautiful and wise poem. good luck on the contest.


  • Wistful Muse
    June 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Enlightening

    I like this change of pace. Very nicely done. Great choice of words. So, you get slapped alot, do you?


  • AgeofAquarius
    June 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    W RITE ONN !!

    U rok!!! Flow is metered and elegant..I see gold in your future or another shiney metal..


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    June 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very creative effort. A nice series of cinquain this indeed is. Beautiful imagery and choice of words. I like the third one the most. All the best in the contest.

    Charishma


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply


    Beautifully penned, Scribe...Completely enlightened...luminous with precision & inherent skill...I especially enjoyed the 1st & 3rd ones...Joy will love them, too...Good luck in the contest...You should do well, methinks...Be well, Scribe... Wanda

1 - 9 of 9