A Red Leaf Fell

I remember so few dreams, so why would this one be so memorable? Indeed, it haunted me for years. It had no explanation either from my own mind, or from my faith, but it stayed in my mind, and I contemplated it often. It was as if it had to mean something – something profound – but just what, I did not know.

It was the year I graduated high school. That narrow road that connected the highway with the port – that road through woods and farms – that was where it happened. I ran this road often training for track and cross country. I actually had been overcome by the heat while training on this road not so many months before, but now I could feel the cool breeze on my face, and the life in my legs that came when the weather cooled. Faster and harder I pushed myself down this familiar stretch of road, when I saw it. It was a red maple leaf that fell in the road in front of me.

This was nothing unusual – I saw maple leaves fall every autumn, but this leaf held my attention. It fell perfectly into the middle of the road with the bright waxy side turned up. It had to be the brightest red maple leaf I had ever seen.

I’m not sure what happened next – it seemed that the maple leaf and everything around it faded out. Then, I was returning home. I was not sure where I had been, nor how long I had been away, but it seemed so important that I get home. I called home, and my brother came to pick me up. He looked much older, and drove my car as if he owned it.

“When did you start driving?” I asked.

He just chuckled his silent chuckle, and answered in a demeanor much more mature than I expected, “I’ve been driving for a long time now.”

I was confused as he drove me back to the old farm house where we lived. I tried to piece together what had happened, and where the missing years had gone. Was it years? I really did not know. Where had I been anyway?

I finally got the nerve to ask, “What year is this?”

“1986,” my brother said without hesitation, and without taking his eyes off the road.

“1986?” I thought to myself. “Where have I been? What happened? I’m supposed to be graduating from college this year.”

I’m sure I did not make a sound, but my brother chuckled silently again and shook his head as if he read my mind and was telling me “No, you didn’t graduate.”

It was still dark when I awoke. The house felt strange and distant to me as I walked down the hallway from my room. It felt as if I had been gone for a long time. I was so disturbed that I had to go to the kitchen, turn on the light, find the calendar in the same place on the wall, and read the year. Only then, could I convince myself that I had not really gone anywhere – it had all been a dream. But that red leaf remained as a spectacular and vivid symbol – but a symbol of what? It seemed to be something so very important, but something I could not grasp.

The last time I visited that old road that connects the highway to the port, I remember thinking how much everything had changed, even though it still looked so much like it did when I used to run it. Jay, who so often ran the road with me, married the pastor’s daughter who used to live along that road. Ray, who selflessly spent so many hours with the young boys and girls in that community, was now crippled from a hunting accident. He was still as patient and gentle as ever, but the skilled outdoorsman was confined to a wheelchair. Marilyn moved away to Dallas, but moved back after her father’s death so she could tend to her now feeble mother. I haven’t heard from Tim or Tom in years. Nobody seems to know what happened to Tammy – all anyone knows is that her family situation was not good and she wanted to get away. Donna and Debbie both died from cancer while in their early 40’s. Tony was killed in a car accident, but his brother still lives down by the corner. Phyllis, who was as pretty and petite as any city girl, but went to the field with us and threw hay bales like a man … well … her brother still lives in their old house, her parents have passed away, but I have no idea what became of her.

As for me, I didn’t graduate college in 1986 – my well laid plans took a detour I never dreamed. 1986 found me 6000 miles from the college I started, and at the end of that year, my oldest daughter was born. College graduation came much later, and on a much more difficult path than I had planned.

Now, as I look back on that old road that was the center of the world for me - that place I was sure would always be as it was then, and as I think of my life in those years that followed, the red leaf falling in the road makes perfect sense. Whether from my own mind, or into my heart from above, the leaf speaks to me of a lesson of life – one that was most relevant to me in that year when I graduated high school.

The red leaf is the symbol of the changing of seasons. I was first tempted to say it was either the changing of seasons in my life, or in the life of that old farm road, but really, the two cannot be separated. In life, both we, and the world around us go through seasons, and we go through them together. At the time when you are finishing school, leaving home, and striking out on your own, the one thing you can be sure of is that seasons are changing for you.

When you leave, things will change here. We may move out of the house that you called home; your friends may leave this neighborhood to never return; some may not even be on this earth anymore when you return.

When you go, things will change with you. You mature; you start your own family; many of the plans and dreams you have may never be fulfilled, or may be fulfilled in a much different manner than you expected; even your way of looking at the world will change. The only thing that will not change is that things always change.

So the seasons change, and that change can be unsettling. That is why when you returned, everything felt so strange, and as if you no longer had any roots or any place here. We will always love you, and you will always be welcome, but in this new season, things will be different. It can be unsettling, but this change is as natural as the leaves falling from the trees in autumn. So just recognize the leaves falling, understand that the seasons will change in your life, and embrace each new season.