Uniformed to life
Conformed to your end
Draw lines permanently
Under the hate I carved
Bound to an ugly face
Eyelids drag up and down
Disgusted with an image
Designed by lies
Something more
Something else
Something different
Something not myself
Don't frown with worry
Be carefree
Alone
Be what I can't be
These words, demeaning
Say so little about so much
I try to express what we share
But the echoes are too much
Author notes
it's bad but i decided i needed to write something so i put on loud music and did! i think maybe the music influenced it too much and i know the punctuation is all wrong but then i did just fail english!! overall im not expecting anyone to understand but please feel free to critisise!
Written June 9th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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thankyuo
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an absolutely intense and powerful poem, this poem is so little but a lot to push out from a person's emotions, i can feel it..that's what i like in a poem, deep and has feeling..wonderful poem you wrote here! nicely done, really..
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This is good. It makes me sad yet it brings light at the end.
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v. this is not a bad write,, how can you say that? an you so haven't failed english..lol
i enjoyed reading this so much.. it would make an awesome song.
anwyays keep up the amazing writing..
captain hannah
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thanks!! how are you?? haven't heard from you in ages.
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htis is fricken awsome. i love it.
-havoc- -
No, not any song in particular, it just sounds like something that could easily be made into a cool song. And I think it would have to be a fast song. Think Nine Inch Nails. lol
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how can you say this poem is bad? sometimes not using the right punctuation and stuff like that actually makes it better. I wish there were more poems like this. don't worry about whether anyone "gets" it or not. Everyone is going to have ther own interpertation of it. Good job and keep writing.
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yeah i know...did it remind you of any song in particular?
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exellent
I agree with all those above...it's not bad, not bad at all!!! I like the pieces that make your mind think, and this does just that. don't be so hard on yourself, your pretty talented!! -
This isn't bad at all, I like it. It's funny but it reminded me of song lyrics from the start - and then I read you comment where you said the music might have influenced it.
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it isn't bad at all, very good imagry, I liked it
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u know it aint bad at all..Its actually good..lol I would be mistaken if this was a lyric sheet of one of ma fave bands lol.
Keep it up really.Its a great write.
Its just a feeling tho, i idnt like one line abt the eyelids, but it kinda gives it a nice effect overall.
Cheers -
lyrical brilliance my dear...whi knows even if you fail english (which you wont!) you could always make in the world as a lyricist if you keep coming up with genius like this
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its kool write. and i failed english as well. i like the end, nice job.lukw
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