(his)
Candle light, candle bright,
you fire my feathers
to dance
her blessing in my eye,
freezing stare
to sultry ties slipping,
seeing shadows of stars
slanting souls in motion,
like blinking laces
inviting laughter
inside a perfect smile,
dripping wax
in sculpted figure,
as nipples of taunting touch
drop by drop
build pillared pools
of heat
to mold in waiting lips
as the aroma of your light
finds our faces,
sleeping together
in your magic shadows.
(hers)
Candle light,
candle bright,
Let me melt
in sweet delight,
as his eyes
undress me
and devour my skin.
His glares ravish me
and tingle my neck,
as his shadow waltzes
along with mine.
Passion flickers
within me
like heat shivering,
you feed desire
like fuel feeds flame,
blowing wild in waves,
delicately unstoppable,
riding breathless sound
to sigh forever
freeing fantasy,
screaming and roaring
blazing with Lust and love,
as you flow
into my veins,
nourishing my
flammable soul,
setting Passion
to blaze in shimmers,
in our starless night
of Satin Ecstasy,
just breathing each other.
Author notes
a collaboration of Kaibab and No deliverance
Written June 8th, 2006
A contest entry
- Drown me with romance! by The Vulture.
540 points, ended February 1, 2007, 40 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Collaborations of Love For Valentines by Poetry and I Inc.
600 points, ended February 14, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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f-ing unbelievable!
this is sssssssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooo awsome! i've never read a poem like this before, i've never heard anyone write the way you do. the style is AMAZING!!!
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Filled w/ passion and has gr8 imagery. Nice word scheme and gr8 pic. Pic is very appropriate w/ title and message. thx for entering and good luck in contest! -theQueen"
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how intense!
The romance in this poem takes my breath away. It is quite romantic... your analogies are very creative =) I love it! Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck! -
great job!! i love collaborations and u dunt really see them too often. but i thought this wuz a really wonderful n sweet poem!! keep up the great work! thanx 4 entering and good luck in my contest!
xoxo rachel -
This poem was absolutely brilliant. It flowed wonderfully, and the switch from his to hers was smooth and well-done. Really a sensational wwrite. Thank you so much for entering it into my contest, and good luck.
-Jade -
Wonderfully sudictive. I really enjoyed the way you showed both sides of the story. It really made the write come alive. Very emotional and erodict. Great picture and back ground. Keep up the great work. And thank you for sharing your write with all of us. Good luck in the contest. ttyl Tali
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i loved how this showed both sides!!! Its truly romantic!
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This is very...sensual. I loved it! I love how you have the "his" and "hers"...brilliant! Keep it up and Good Luck!!
The One and Only...
~Lynn Jones <3 -
I stand corrected. This ojne is the most romantic. It is a dance of love. Each of you has your part to play. I can picture a romantic cnadle lit room and soft music as his and her embrace.
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this was really good. you made a good love poem without going into too much detail/erotica. I loved it. You just...wow...amaze me. how do you do it?
I loved these two parts:
"Candle light,
candle bright,
bless me
with her dance
tonight,"
and
"Candle light,
candle bright,
Let me melt
in sweet delight,"
I don't know why they caught me, but I had to reread both of them because they were so beautiful. I loved it. You are going on my favourites...I love your writing so much...wow. Keep it up. -
This is great you two, especially this little bit:
Passion flickers
within me
like heat shivering
That really struck me for some reason, I look forward to the next collab, keep it up! -
EXCELLENT i loved it
beautifull work on this piece i loved it to -
Wow this is absolutely amazing. The imagery that you used to create the mood and the way you described every detail of what was being felt was just unbelievable. You two did an awesome job with this. It is a bit erotic as well. I really enjoyed reading this. You two should definately do more work together.
Really great job.
<3 Catherine -
...sexxy?
AHH SEXXX!! -
EXCELLENT!!!
what a beautiful love poem, of two souls united, it's very romantic, and inviting at the same time, i love the background that you used, it's awesome. thanks for sharing, great job!! -
wow this is really good and i love how you have a his and hers. this poem is really really really good. i wish i could write like you.
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this is a great write, i was captivated until the very last word, bvery effective, and well done on creating such a brilliant piece. god bless X
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Wonderful!
This is an excellent love poem Kaibab and Hana!
Very beautiful but shouldn't this be a bit under the erotica category? (just a thought)
Nice flow and choice of words and alliteration (my favourite).
I really liked this and enjoyed reading it very much. An excellent collaboration.
Just a sugesstion, that it to brighten the colour, coz it is not very good with the background, i mean it is pretty but hurts the eyes a bit.
Keep on writing and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
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amazing!
I like it...it's steamy without being outright. seductive in a very subtle sort of way. Have you actually perfomred this ritual? If so, how'd it go? -
Interesting collaboration - it flows nicely and works well as a single piece with two voices - communicates the passion creatively.
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magnificent Posey
Totally exquisite! You two have created a magic! The words flow and the emotions are from the essence of your souls. This is just a fantastic piece of poetic art of pure romance. I just loved it!!! Keep them coming! Beautifully written, write ON!....ennovy
I will be looking for the next collaboration! -
When I saw a Featured Poem that was another collaboration from you two, I just knew I had to read it- and I was not disappointed! Again, this is absolutely beautiful! It amazes me at how well the two parts come together so well; it seems that would also be true for your relationship as well.
Great wording and pattern here. Keep writing, and keep loving!
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i love this. a moment of sweetness in both eyes. romance in a poem has never sounded so good. very good discriptions in this poem, i love the phrases that you have used here.
as you flow into my veins
nourishing my flammable soul.
i like that part of the piece the best. -
So romantic, and such essences of love throught this poem with every description. I wish you good luck in the contest!
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A nice collaboration. It is suggestive without being too bold or agressive. I quite enjoyed reading this piece as it was just the right amount of steaminess today. Thanks for working on this piece and sharing it with us.
John. -
Again another beautiful piece....love the way you make the mere drips of a candle sensual in nature........Again I raise my glass in toast to the two of you...
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this is like wow!! haha umm i just couldn't stop reading which proves it's very effective lol the passion and heat is like woahhhhh haha, superb collaboration. keep it up!!!
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very good
Very clever having two complimentary poems ! Nice swing to this -
I love it... ihave to agree 100 % with riddlebird
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This is awesome! Well done.
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A powerfull and sensual duet here. the imagery and rythem of word choice are absolutely hypnotic in thier ability to draw the reader right into the roles of these lovers. the passion you describe seems to stand somewhere on the borderlands of tenderness and consuming intensity evoking the best of both without sacrificing from either, I see this as a mark of incredible skill. best of luck in the contest.
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write of love , desire , candle-light and dance in such eloquent words , and I get lost in the dream of it. great job from both of you and best wishes in the contest
xoxoxoxo
renie
Edited on Jun 08, 10:34 p.m. because ''. -
Another breathtaking collab from you two! This is so beautiful! I am at a loss for words. Truly a lovely write, you tw
Lynda
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Very beautiful. Well written. Very sensual and passionate. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Jeannie D Hunter
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"...seeing shadows of stars slanting souls in motion..." This is a sultry, sensuous, wonderful effort, giving your readers sudden & profound insight into their own Hearts, as well...A very good piece, worthy of contemplation & filled with the realizations of loving...This is a beautiful penning, with an amazing use of language that holds great depths...Your efforts reach out to the reader with a sense of urgency, honesty, compassion & trust...This is an impressive effort on your part...Good luck in the contest, Rich & Hana... Wanda
Edited on Jun 08, 7:33 p.m. because ''. -
wow what an amazing poem. You two did a great job with the feeling of love and romance. I can see the image of lovers so clearly with your words.
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What a delicate poem.So full of love and lust.I love the way you put it into both points of view.A really great job you have done with this.Thanks for sharing it.Beautiful.
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Two thumbs up!
What a nice poem and presentation.
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