Coffee, under torn neon lights, poems, a jazz of sounds,
growling and aggressive in their need to be knifed
through the teeth and the tune of a portrait wearing a beret
that is bent on the whorl of his clubbed hair
giving nonchalance to the fractured beat
tripping along the unsteady bursts of horn.
Coarse voice, tempered by melody,
throwing a loop over the aghast audience
and pulling the patients to pools of thought
bluing at the base of the stool;
a brace for the tight-stringed phrases
trickling through the midnight café.
Author notes
Set #2
I am a sucker for word list contsts. Thank you.
-Torn
-Jazz
-Stool
-Coarse
-Aggressive
-Tune
-Burst
-Pools
-Portrait
-Brace
Written June 8th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Pick and Write by Waiting 4 Evermore.
300 points, ended June 14, 2006, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Visual
I love the visualisations in this
, it's brilliant I love it. I want to read more of your work! lol
~marie lee~
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well, indeed, then, I am honored.
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Gorgeous free-verse, this from a guy that doesn't believe in gorgeous free verse! (Oh, I do, of course, but I can't let on to the fan base, you know!)
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Oh mine is Ms. Rat Stompin' Blues at the King eddie...lol tks sistuh!
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THANK YOU ORGANIZED CHAOS!!! It was fun to write, to get into that space where I remembered the senses of the events.
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Heavy,heavy lil'mama cool! Got my fingers clicken to the cool riffs coming out of this melodious masterpiece.~~Suseann or Ms.Manyard G Cribbs
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i definetly agree with Night Hope! I was have miles davis running through my mind as i read this piece and i love miles davis. The imagery was phenomenal! I felt as if i was in that room with a cup of coffe in my hand listening to the words and jazz. This really hit my buttons! in a good way though.Good luck in the contest! I really enjoyed this!
--haley -
I did have to plae msyelf back in a Blues and Jazz Night crumbled down, sagging-growned old hotel int he City of Calgary, Alberta to re-sense the atmosphere. That smokey old building was the haunt of our Premier, Ralph Klien. Gave me the heebie jeebies to remember that one. But I did recall the nights of hoarse men cranking out the blues and jangling the jazz.
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Thank you Blood Rains. What does your nic evolve from? I am curious.
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"giving nonchalance to the fractured beat tripping along the unsteady bursts of horn." Gorgeous metaphor, my sista. I could easily hear Miles Davis in this one...maybe even a lil' Satchmo. I've written several with similar titles & upon the same subject, but your voice is prolificly delicious. You have written an amazing piece. It holds a great sense of refined clarity & definition. Your words dance blue notes across the pages of your reader's eyes. Your imagery is vivid & well~chosen, unique & profound. Your use of language is musical & artistic, as well. I can hear the jazz sighing in the background, aching in its intensity. You paint an indelible portrait of breathing deeply & it is an incredible journey that we walk with you. Please continue sharing your gift with the world; the world needs all the Poets it can hold. Well done, Poet. Beautiful penning, Lady...Good luck in the contest...
Wanda
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love the title!!
very visual and powerful, keep it up!!
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