Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

List


i close my eyes and see a narrow path
lost in pampas-grass and poison ivy
wound along the crests of curving cliffs
shadowed under limbs of twisted pines

the boom of curling waves against the bluffs
washes dread across my tired shoulders
churns to foam a panic in my gut
weakens every step beneath my knees

needles tremble lightly overhead
a broad madrona creaks before the breeze
i seem to float on undulating seas
swaying to exhaustion all the world

and when i pull my lashes back again
and see the open confines of my life
i send a prayer to the hidden stars
be true to me in my uncertainty

Author notes


Written June 8th, 2006

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • loved by angels
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lol well you deffenatly have drawn the images in how your life has progressed,. as you close your eyes in the begenning, you see a narrow path, and so your journey starts and doesnt stray from the fact that your suffering and progession is turning point where your life goes from bad to worse, well as as you move on, and keep going you find that at the end, when you open back up your eyes, you see the open confines of your life- the path is wide and your more open to all that is around you, so this optimism is acutaly a blessing because your not secluded in the fear and pain around you, you have more room to breath, and your thankful for it..


    lol well thats what i got out of it anyway,, really liked it, the effert you put into it deffenatly shows,,

    LBA


  • Amber Silverhair
    June 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    There is a difference in how we perceive the path we tread between our outer vision and that inner eye.

    The images are clear and well drawn. I enjoyed reading this poem.


  • SuZyCuE
    June 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me about the poem with two roads, its hard to figure out which way one will travel when things in theiur life are truly a mess, going down one road could bring you the "poision ivy" as you put it and the other the tall pampas grass to which you could hide in. You dont seem to me to be much of a hider, I think you are more of the seeker, the one who has to find out everything about everything and keep going until you feel you have enough knowledge to make a informed decision. When all that knowledge fails you look to prayer to help guide you in the dierction that youu must travel, Its alot to take even for someone as smart as you are. To me I think your heart is the answer to your problem, talk to your heart, just dont let your head get in the way too much yet listen to what it has to say. Friends are also a good source of help, just talk, talk, talk, and maybe before you know it your problem is solved.
    Great poem Erin as usual.
    Love,
    Suzanne