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parade of nintendo

my back against your chest,
we sit emptily in a tub
and read poetry as though
we can relate
                     
but really, i only love you
because i can't love him anymore
             
you only hold me close
because you're hopelessly loyal

you hate to, but i take advantage

we will live in a parade of nintendo
and cartoons we should have stopped
watching when we were five
and pretend to be happy

but i am thinking of him
and you are thinking of
god only knows

Author notes

This is incomplete. I don't know if I'll ever finish it at this point, but I want to keep it.
Written March 23rd, 2006

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • chaosfactor79171
    July 18, 2006
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    I love this poem. It makes perfect sence. I guess the world does have things like that. This was beautiful becase it talks of humans and the way they are. There is after all beauty in everything to do with humans and the earth and what ever else you can think of. good write -Juarez


  • something vague
    July 13, 2006
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    i am completely and fully in love with this poem. there's just something so, so endearing about it...i just absolutely love it. incredible write.

  • verses on flesh
    June 27, 2006
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    We all have our vices, we lose ourselves in. Be it a person, an activity or an object. Attempt to fill the voids left by the things that we want as if that spot could ever really be satiated. Hearts aren't something you can collapse and fill in with dirt... sadly.. because.. that would be really cool. There is a strong feel of reluctance and almost... numbness to this piece, that is so... well defined in your expressions, and your line breaks. I think it feels very rounded as is, though I fully understand the idea of not feeling a work is finished, when it has not said all it needed to.

    jamie

  • dented kaleidoscope
    June 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    "we will live in a parade of nintendo
    and cartoons we should have stopped
    watching when we were five
    and pretend to be happy"

    I think this is the most powerful stanza. I like the idea of using the concept of nintendo in a poem, haven't seen that done before. Also, the theme is nice and easy to relate to, though some parts of it like

    "but really, i only love you
    because i can't love him anymore"

    are rather explanatory, making it all too personal. It's enjoyable though, so I hope you finish it.

    ~D.


  • Gr8TubaWoman
    June 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great!

    "you only hold me close
    because you're hopelessly loyal

    you hate to, but i take advantage"

    absolutely amazing!

1 - 5 of 5