Birthday Gifts

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me…

& you lay there
the mold of your skin
empty and hollow,
like the year you presented a package in glossy paper, tied satin bows
and laughed when I tore off the paper to find an old, vacant shoebox
handing me the real gift.
I opened your palm but this time there is nothing.

ER’s white eyes gazed down on your gurney  
And I blamed florescent lights for tricking you
To move toward them
Away from me

& when I’d woken up I’d expected balloons
a cake and a wish.
My birthday candles phantom flame
reassigned to your death-day guiding lights.
With pursed lips and sealed eyes I blew up at those lights
But they continued to shine,
An ungranted wish for more time.

Sorrowful death-day to you,
Sorrowful death-day to you…