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Waiting

Dressed up
Waiting
Watching every car pass
None of them yours
Tired
Still waiting
Answering every phone call
None of them you

You forgot me again
You left me
Waiting
All night again

Author notes

A quick write, needs revision, please help.
Written June 6th, 2006

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Comments

  • pozo
    June 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I think 'dresses up' would read better as 'dressing up'- more direct and somehow seems to be short for 'I'm dressing up' rather than 'she/he dresses up'. Great piece, I liked the sense of loneliness portrayed here Keep writing, the use of present tense verbs seemed direct and was quite unique
    Thanks for your comment
    All the best
    Pozo

  • Acadia
    June 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    And that's why I love you. =) Rock on.

    -Sam-


  • rampantheart
    June 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    sometimes loneliness and angst are best described in simple words that convey your emotions at that exact point in time, I don't think it needs revision, just to be read as it should!

    --brian