There was a cherry tree, a boy,
a brand new hatchet for a toy.
Now what does little Georgie do?
He chops the cherry tree in two.
Before it could become a fable,
who arrives fresh from the stable?
George’s father, for a cherry
to ornament his flute of sherry.
George exclaimed, “This axe is hexed!”
It did not work, dear Dad was vexed.
”Look, obviously it’s possessed!”
but Dad’s look said, “Die or confess!”
“I cannot tell a lie to thee,
I chopped down the cherry tree.”
“The truth is nice, my little buddy,
now follow me into the study.”
No! Not the study! It’s where George felt
the boot, the strap, the board, the belt!
“This will be the worse for me”,
thought George, and we would have agreed.
”Until your head is on a nickel,
you, my boy, are in a pickle!
Until your face is on a bill,
you have earned my illest will.”
”I want my cherries, I want to see 'em. Curses!
May your wooden teeth end up in a museum!
If I don't have them, if I can't taste them,
if I can’t squeeze them, roll them, bake them...”
”…In truth, young George, your father here
has contracted to deliver cherry beer.
Cherry beer, cherry beer,
cheery, cheery cherry beer!”
”Now, how am I going to distill
my cheery cherry beery swill
for my Philadelphia patrons,
not least of whom is fat Ben Franklin?”
”And ol' John Adam can guzzle what
Tommy J. and friends cannot!
And don't be fooled, but Betsy Ross
can give a gallon or two a toss!”
”And don't forget your Martha dear
you've had your eye on for a year,
she's the devil when it comes
to downing cheery cherry mugs!”
”So come, my young apprentice-to-be,
we must find more cherry trees,
our business waits, our patrons thirst,
your country or your beer, which first?”
”So you've started the French-Indian War
and stirred up trouble with King George;
if there is no cherry beer
there'll be hell to pay, beginning here!”
Author notes
A Cheery Cherry History
thanks to capricornpoet and suseann for the impetus...
Written June 6th, 2006
In a list
- Humor- 2005 • next in list
- History- Most • next in list
- Independence Day- Fourth of July • next in list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This is a simply fantastic read. So, that is what happened that day, hey? I knew we would find out the truth sooner or later. I loved it so much. The whole story took my mind off finding anything to point out. Never mind, maybe someone else will. Thanks for the fantastic read and keep up the great work.
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I see a few bumps here and there... and how in the HELL did you end up on this poem! lol
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I travel back in time! lol!!!!
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groovy
LOL!!!!! i loved this!!! youve done a wonderful job here! brilliant! great job
its hilarious!! 
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I love humour based on truth, for me it makes it all the more funnier. Well done wbiro Val.
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Hi, very good my friend, this was a joy to read,loved the sense of humour, a clever poem, all the best,by the way you will be invited to join a comp of mine that is coming out in the near future, loved this write, hugs Di
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While some of the rhymes don't rhyme,
still it made me grin for a time
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This is excellent, part historical, part comedy. It was brilliantly written, very clever and also very humorous which makes it all the more accessible. i liked the excellent use of speech etc. and thought that really added an extra dimension to the piece.
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Not proven.
But why did he cut down the cherry tree? That's what I want to know. -
Until your head is on a nickel,
you, my boy, are in a pickle!
loved everything about this write...you are the Pan! -
awesome
Fringing awesome and funny! after reading this i could not stop laughing at all! it was very beautifully written and is writtem a very different light ! ur style of writing is unique! i like that rhyming scheme a lot all the last words of all the four lines sounding the same very good job! and hilarious write!
loved it !
preets
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I have not laughed so much today as I have just now.I mean yesterday.Whatever.I know this was just supposed to be a funny poem.It tickled my funny bone.Thanks.
~Krys~ -
This is a fun idea - but for humorous poetry to work properly, the rhymes have to be both exact and witty... And, to my (UK) ear at least, they need quite a lot more work!
Incidentally, it is a long time since I was in Washington (the city, that is) - but I seem to remember a whole lot of cherry trees in bloom... Is that correct? And was it someone's idea of a joke? -
i must agree, brilliant work here. you definitely have some talent and i enjoyed reading this.
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Yup! 'Tis brilliant indeed. You do such wonderful things with reality. No need to suffer it for real - wbiro will fix it! I do admire your talent, kind sir. You just keep up the excellent work. I'll be by later for another dose of reality wbiro style. Best - Toni
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Da Capo!
Absolutely brilliant and stunningly funny! Do that again, bravo!
The story is greatly plotted and all the moral is wittingly laughed about...Lily -
This is pretty interesting. I am actually growing quite interested with Washington because I saw this special... on I think the History Channel about how brave of a hero he was. It's so cool to me to learn the background of our country. Who better to study in that department than the First President himself! Good job, the rhyming was right on key!
Amanda -
excellent
wonderful write I so loved it,by far one the best poems I seen in while,my hats off to you and fine work you did with this,be proud.
The Morning Star
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