Today the red silhouettes, one for each
woman who died at the hands of her abuser,
came on display in Pioneer Place Mall.
Each one a wooden replica of a dead woman.
Their shadows cast upon the sidewalk
a panorama of pain and tragedy undeserved.
Each with its own tale to tell of violence;
in plywood with red paint, death’s reserved.
People shook their heads, some shed a tear.
And the words heard most often. . . “WHY
did she stay. I’d have left him the first time.
I don’t take one bit of shit from my guy.”
Trying to be invisible I walked by each one.
Rockets bursting in my head, my heart a drum.
There are many reasons women stay with
a man who beats and abuses, a puzzle to some.
But I knew, by the grace of God I was no
silhouette of red standing in the sun at the mall.
He strangled and choked me, shot me and used
his knife to poke holes in me when I would fall.
He cried and said he was sorry, drove me to
the E.R., and most times beat me up before we
were even home again, pushing me from the car,
controlling himself, his rage…impossibility.
He wanted to trade me to his drug dealer for
a bag of dope; his dealer didn’t want what he saw.
For he saw a frail, timid woman beaten down,
her spirit broken, her wounds fresh and raw.
I took him back so many times I can’t even count.
Went with him to North Carolina, away from home.
He broke his promise to never hit me in that house.
The second night he stabbed me with a rat-tail comb.
It’s been eleven years now, eleven years Free and Safe,
living with a broken body, mental illness gripping me.
So even though I’m away and have stayed away -
I will never be the same, or have a life with real quality.
They don’t change, not one of them,
you can take that from a battered wreck.
One false move on your part, honey,
and he might jump you and wring your neck.
No excuses, please, I have heard them all,
and I tell you with loving concern, it will go on.
There is never safety once he’s hit you. . . so
gather yourself up, dear Sister and stay gone.
Author notes
I was an intelligent woman. Saved other women who were being battered. I could stare down any man, any size. But the insidious thing about abuse is that it doesn't start with a slap or a beating. It starts so small you really don't notice. He has you in love with him...he will manipulate you by being angry and withdrawing his love. You want him to smile and be happy - so you forgive. I beg you, if someone is hitting you, don't let him kill you like mine very nearly did me. I care.
Written June 5th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- For poets who are sick of seeing contest that are invite only and no pre writes allowed by angelinthelight17.
300 points, ended October 31, 2006, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes for Sad Writes by Naridill.
300 points, ended December 30, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ABUSE - looking for poems to be published :) by DramaQueen469.
550 points, ended October 25, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your GOLD or SILVER prewrites here!! by perfectsunset.
400 points, ended November 6, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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This is so powerful and it just gave me chills up and down my spine... I too have been in this position and I know exactly what you are saying... this is an incredible write and thankyou very much for entering it.
~*~DramaQueen469~*~ -
Very beautiful written. The words are choosen nicely and enthrall the reader perfectly.
Thanks for entering.
Much luck
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truth
Thank you -
this made me think of my first husband...i was so young...only nineteen, he twenty. i so thought i could 'make him happy and well' but that was not the case. he drank, did drugs, cheated, didn't work...the whole nine yards.
then one time he wrapped his hands around my throat...for my paycheck. i clawed his face...i have no memory of doing it. there were three lines down each of his cheeks. then he kicked me like a dog. he had never touched me before this and never did it again because i was gone after that. we dicorced soon after. i never let another man do that to me either.
it's the emotional abuse i had trouble throwing out the door. i was so accustomed to emotional and verbal abuse from childhood that i accepted it and often didn't even recognize it. once i did that was not acceptable any more either.
good poem. this tells your story to others and lets them know they are not alone, that you understand where they are coming from. -
Auntie, this is another worded treasure of the inner you. Poignant, prolific, and profound. You are an amazing lady as well as an amazing poet!
~Lori~ -
What doesn't kill you - makes you strong,
I try always to rise again, look at my mistakes and learn
from them. I share the dark corners of my life in the hope someone who needs to hear what I am saying, will find my words.
I did break, for a bit, but now I can never again be broken.
You are so sweet to read and leave this wonderful comment.
Hugs Wolfie -
wow. so very real an passionate this piece is amazing, this story is so full of life an realistic views that I dont understand how you could take so much pain yet I understand yer perspective an why you would continue to forgive an how with persistence you could continue to love someone who abuses. I see the same pain that is in so many hearts but isnt expressed through beatings though some people beat themselves up on the inside an these tortured souls are also so incurable I pray you help so many that make your life feel whole again by making them whole. Your work is wel appreciated an brings so much love back into the world. Many would break under such strain that you went through and even though I dont know u I am very proud of you for sticking through it all an achieving more than just a broken spirit but a strong spirit that has the will an hope an strength to not only carry on but help those who need you most.
God Bless,
DB -
What an eye opener for many who are in this situation and for others who are not. We always question why do they stay, yet each might have her own reason for doing so. That nurturing part of us that thinks we can change him, even when we know deep inside we can't. GOod write. Congratulations for winning gold with this write.
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You have painted the picture of abuse so vividly in your words........My name on here has a hidden meaning....Mariposa meaning butterfly.....when I left mine finally after all the years of abuse it was as if I had gone through a rebirth...taking many years to rebuild self esteem.......which at times still fails in moments of weakness but I am free now and living there by the grace of God. Thank you for posting this my prayers are that it speaks to someone and saves their life. Wishing you the best of days......
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Yes I have been here too. I am one of the abused battered women who suffered at the hands of my husband too. Not only did he hit beat but he raped and cheated on me too. So I know how this feels and all the excuses too. I have been gone 12 years now and still I suffer from his hands. In my mind and I too have a mental illness I have to suffer with the rest of my life.
Great write and tells the story of us all who have suffered at the hands of an abuser -
Beautifully Sad
Congratulations Auntie on winning the gold!! This is such a moving and powerful piece. It's full of feelings, some feelings known to us all to well from living the same type of situations ourselves. You have such a profound ability to relate your past in your poetry. You are absolutely gifted and your talent amazes me every time I read something new from you. Bless you for having the strength to share your stories with us. Your AP family loves you dearly!! Take Care!!
Your Loving Niece~
~*Lori*~ -
wow, this is from the heart, i congratulate you on your courage and wish you well, what wonderful words you share with us all, the conviction and the guilt ........fantastic!!..thankyou for sharing ..
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Why am I not seeing your work?
i watch the new work posted by my favorites and you're one to be sure but most of what I've seen on your hompepage have slipped by.
This is incredible, a nightmare that you've expressed so well.
You are so right.
if he strikes once...get out.
he'll likk you or worse.
sorry Sherry I have not been neglecting you
D -
Very poingnant and powerful. I can see why you won a gold with this. Just onr thing though, in verse 7 I think it should be the dealer didnt want what he saw.
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bone-chilling
...Wow. That was a fabulous poem. It was so powerful, so... raw an open almost like an old scar had ripped and was bleeding the words for you. I sincerely hope this didn't happen to you, but from the way you wrote... it almost had to have. And I love how you said the silouettes were plyboard painted over in red. After so much abuse, the soul is no longer full of life and meaning, and there's only one thought in your head, "Let me survive." Not even full of hope, just a plea, a prayer. So flat, and un-you. And when you're in public you paint it to look like you still are you.
A beautiful but incredibly sad poem.
God Bless,
Icicle Hot -
WolfHeart,
God bless you, dear! This is a powerful, raw-edged poem, so powerful that one knows it's true. Yes, god teaches us that it is good to forgive, but we must also move away from that which has hurt us. Forgive and forget... not that the last part is at all possible, especially when the physical wounds are still reminders, but I mean "forget" in the sense that, like you did, the situation must be abandoned, the man turned in.
I wish you all peace and happiness in your new life, and good luck in the contest.
Melanie
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awsome
wow such powerful writing,i to have been a victim, but of emotional abuse,you have done yourself justice by sharing your true story wit others. i have seen many women abused and tryed to help them get away.got one who lives next store to me and her bo beats her evry day. i try to tell her to get away ,but some just wont listen,i still pray for her. you are so right, first ,he hits you won't be the last ,for your sake n that of the children ,just go,many make the mistake of telling him tey are leaving. bubt if you must go, just go,while they are gon during the day.saves lots of pain n trouble ok.god bless you for writing this story i pray that those who read it will take your advice n go od bless -
Godz, that was totally horrid but, I mean that in a good way. You've described it rather graphically what can and does happen to women all over the planet. I applaud your support of them. Issues like this need to be addressed more often. Thank you for sharing.
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Very, very strong imagery. Good write! My pa was like that (with alcohol consumed), thankfullly I never met him. Thankfully, I'm not like him. You have a huge amount of strength to write such a deep, dark tale. Good luck, here on end, always!
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abuse is hard to write about and you have done a wonderful job here. I hope you inspire others who have been abused.
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This is a fantastic poem Wolfheart!!! A really excellent appeal to anyone who suffers abuse from their partners - male and female!! I'm so glad you got through it - it strikes a hopeful note!!!
Sarah Louise Hudson
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Congratulations on winning the gold, WolfHeart. As a token of how much I liked the poem, I shall feature it for you, hoping you get some good comments from it.
I wish you best of luck here on AllPoetry, and hope that you will keep on writing as good as this. Jim
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Congratulations!!!!!! Awesome poem... nicely put together... definately worthy of first place... Keep up the good work!!!
Smooches
~Savina~ -
Wolfheart,
This was a very true and raw write. You know the more of your work I read the more I am finding out what a caring person you are. Sounds from some of them that we have a lot in common. I look forward to reading more. Best of luck to you in the contest. -
A very stong appeal to women, WolfHeart. Your poem has very stong imagery, and the perfect rhyme and flow throughout made this a wonderful piece of work. These are the kind of words that reaches through, and that can make a difference! Thank you for sharing your story with us, and I hope it will help some others to break free of abusive relationships... I wish you best of luck in the contest! Jim
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