dancing
on a rope of
brightest filigree
lighting the twilight with
a dazzling communal
silver sparkle that
skips straight to
the heart of the
beast and
removes all the rotten waste
Author notes
Another poem written on a whim. It's actually about my freinds and the Fairy idea came up because it was the first image I had in my head after finishing the first draft.
Written June 5th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Boo!
Yay, more poetry!
I do wonder, how exactly are your friends like fairies? unless of course for josie in which case that is completely realistic lol!
Anymahu
I like this a lot very magical and yet to me relates to the fact that friends make everything better.
x Catapultam x -
I'm glad to see you're back haven't seen much writing from you in a while.
Again very different to other poetry you've produced upto now, you never fail to amaze me with your talent, neway i love this idea and the alliteration used in this piece is nice with 'silver sparkle that skips straight'. Lovely choice of words that give a very majestic and mystical feeling throughout.
However i would say that some of the phrasing is oddly placed for example
on a rope of
brightest filigree
feels like it should flow:
on a rope,
of brightest filigree
and
lighting the twilight with
a dazzling communal
possibly:
lighting the twilight
with a dazzling communal
unless of course finishing with prepositions is inentional but i feel it distracts the reader.
Hope this is constructive. Wonderful write and a pleasant read. I look forward to more writes from you.
xSSx
Adding your comment:
1 old applause
