I saw my reflection today
In a mirror like glass on 22 St.
Contemplating on thought
Image not quite like it used to be
I saw the eyes of an old man
Tired and beaten from everyday life
Sleepless nights alone reading 1984
Frankenstein and other assorted
Long lost love books
Unable to afford for better viewing pleasures
Like Television and Internet
At that instant I saw my soul
Float away
Out my eyes as if I left the windows open
My fate sealed as I’m struck with grief
42 years of age yet still without love
Without a wife and children
The dreams and hope gone
And with one fatal swoop
I fall to the ground
Unable to carry on
Stoke
Said the paramedic
As if I can hear
The huge dosage of volts
Beating against my chest
Useless attempts to bring back the lifeless
All this time watching myself
Sitting next to my own death bed
Pronounced at 6:11 P.M.
- William Barrett
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Written June 5th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wonderfully written.
First, thanks for your comment on my profile. Second, this kicks ass. The imagery, concept, tone, diction, rhythm, flow, structure, all of it. It just kicked ass. You see these below? They're applause. Ask anyone. I rarely give 'em out. These three are for your piece of art that you have given me the pleasure of reading. Wonderfully written.
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wow thanks man ^_^ i don't know too many people who liked this write.... i guess it was different, and nothing really flowed word from word.... that would be my guess.... bu i now it would kinda suck to die that way.. kinda where im heading O.o..
-mysticshrooms -
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Huh.
It was written in a timeless feel like 'It's a Wonderful Life', what with it seeming like a reflection of a life lived down the current path taken. That's what really impressed me. Strong imagery and syllabic emphasis in patterns can provide it's own sort of flow, even when the words might at first not like to come out smoothly together when spoken. It is in these poems that the words are then meant to be spoken, and read, in my thoughts, slowly, like the disjointed sentence fragments are being thought and said on the spot. That's why I think this was great.
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wow thanks alot man ^_^ it is nice to hear a good comment everyonce in a while
first in almost 2 months lol. thanks agai man you have made part of my day 
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muffin tops
Damn dude. thats some heavy shit. sometimes everyone needs to read something like this to bring them back down to earth. i love the ending and how you closed with "pronounced dead...", it really added to the drama. i love it, absolutely love it.
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