Still you have no commemorative stone. Buried in clay
eighteen months ago, the grass rolled up in sheets
for you and replaced above your wooden breastplate, your
basic bones. We were told they would place it once
the ground had settled. Seasons of flowers have come and gone,
poinsettia, snowdrop, daffodil, rose; a baby born; a diamond ring
received and worn. Still no stone.
The grass brightens, then it dries to hay, then dies. The sky
blues and then it greys, cold as the stone you are lacking.
We bring tributes to your unremarkable plot
and speak of unremarkable things. You take up no space
in the visible scheme: we could almost have dreamed you.
Do the named dead listen, stiff in their precisely indexed rows?
The dead are as dull and still as potatoes; they only look up
with their many stopped eyes, permanently look, fixed
as their own smug stones.
Author notes
So sorry for your loss...it's hard, and although it gets easier, there's always that nagging sense of something missing.
I chose to write about my Grandma who died 18 months ago. We visit her grave regularly, but there's still no headstone there - it sort of makes it impersonal and removed, we could be visiting anyone's grave.
Written June 5th, 2006
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Excellent...
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This is very well expressed.
Congrats!
Stacy
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i don't think you need "dull" and "still" I would just go with dull. That's the best part of the poem for me. the dead are dull as potatoes, which of course leads to the eyes as potatoes often do.
the dead are dull as potatoes
with their many stopped eyes they forever look
fixed as their own smug stones
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Ack
From grief to this.
This is heartbreaking. Makes your readers own grief feel fresh and raw.
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amazing poetry-
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Good
I like the analogies that you use for death; grass turning to hay, sky darkening etc and some of the word play is very interesting.
I enjoyed reading this. -
my mum died last christmas and shes buried with my sister, but my dad has'nt got round to changing the stone yet as he finds it too painful :0( i really enjoyed reading your poem as i felt like i could relate to how your feeling. good luck in the contest xoxox
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Wow...love it. Keep it up. Mucho love. xx
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love it love it love it!!!!!!!
this was a great poem
i really love it and your
a great poet!!
great job!
keep up the great work!
much luv,
abbydoodle -
I have been trawling through the highlighted pieces thinking it a wasteland...this was unexpected and really enjoyable on the theme of "what's been happening since you you were dead and gone" It is actually touching, heartfelt and beautifully penned, albeit in a slightly cliched and predictible fashion. It is good and thank you for saving what has been a hideous half hour of reading up to this point.
david
Edited on Jun 08, 9:16 because ''.
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