Not having to work, not having to think;
Plenty of orange juice to drink.
Telephone kept off the hook;
Nice red jelly and a book.
Hearing the rain on the roof above,
with my wife beside me who I love.
Author notes
Written June 4th, 2006
A contest entry
- Terse Verse by I-Like-Rhymes.
450 points, ended October 2, 2006, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very Good
These images speak volumes. And yes, the Auden touch is evident, though you have used it deliberately to strike your p[oint home. Keep writing.
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aye, well when in the depths of something nasty it is always good to look upon the positive things that life still offers, a good poem. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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A nice little poem that still manages to say an awful lot.
Thank you for sharing it. Thanks also for pointing the way to another read. I have not read very much of Aiden's work yet despite al the hours I spend working over at Oldpoetry.
On a personal note I am glad to see your thoughts about leaving (Jun 8 comment to Barb D) having not come true.
Thanks for all the poems you have put into the competition. I have almost finished reading all the entries for the shortlisting and then on to the judging. Time consuming but fun.
Jim -
Great piece which I liked a lot, don't leave
I liked this- short and punchy, original topic although I found it rather too simple for my own taste 
Keep writing, even if you leave AP 
All the best
Pozo
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Hal I know exactly what you mean, in 2002 when i joined the site the standard of poetry was mixed but on the whole very good and it was really interesting watching people improve, criticism was mostly constructive and not taken too personally unlike now. I have watched many writing friends disappear in the last two years some migrated to other sites some just gave up writing completely. I agree most of the poetry on here is so poorly written and I also have the added irk that I really can't tolerate bad grammar and spelling mistakes, if you remark on it you get the pat reply 'so wot im dislexic' I want to screech 'spell checker'. Perhaps i am just an old fuddy duddy but i can't help thinking that if we let our standards slip on everything in life we might just as well crawl back into the pond.
I shall be pleased to keep in touch with you and i am honoured that you enjoy some of my writing, Now THAT does sound old fashioned
Barb -
Dear Barb, thank you for your interesting comment, yes, you are right. I had Auden's "Roman Wall Blues" on mymind when I wrote it.
I have not made a definite decision yet, but I am thinking of quitting Allpoetry because the amount of trash on it now is so overwhelming I find it is having a negative effect on my own writing and standards. I like discussing poetry but only with people who meet a certain minimal standard of maturity, technical competence and sanity. I have, however made some friends and people whose writing I admire here with whom I would like to keep contact, and hope you will allow me to count you as one of these. My e-mail address is halcolebatch@hotmail.com it you feel any desire to get in touch. My wife and I hope to get to the UK some time time in the next few months. -
It reads like a very potted version of an Auden, sometimes more can be said by saying least.
Barb -
A very nice poem
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