Beside a whitewashed stone steeple,
so cracked and crumbling
its shadow created a mystical spell
transforming followers into
a committee of nearsighted ostriches
who votes to sacrifice a dove,
just because it’s been done before
and nobody has complained
though they can’t remember why
since their parents started the idea,
but there must have been a good reason.
Three penguins robed in white
were anointed
to tote baskets of red wine and stale crackers
into a nearby dark forest
to enforce the committee’s decree.
They come upon their feathered prey
bound by layers and layers of red tape
to an old rotting tree stump.
Circling the site of frequent oblation
the servants of mandates utter prayers, chants
and sermons against the evils of too many feathers.
The dove ignores their sacred ramblings
pulling free from his bonds,
flying off into the sunset,
joining a flock of pigeons
in search of a cross to bear.
His absence won’t be noticed
for the penguins have formed a band
to serenade the glorious of traditions
returning to the ostriches
who return to their other lives
for another week
when the curse of rulekeeper
produces another mutative
dancing through Sunday.
Author notes
This for me is about the problem of being a slave to traditions as they are forced upon us by society and intrude upon any spiritual realm, coloring the way it is practiced.
Written June 3rd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Best! by redlipstick.
325 points, ended October 26, 2006, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Religion (in Society)--- NOT FOR RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ONLY!!! by caspiansdoom.
600 points, ended January 24, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes by MadisonRae.
550 points, ended February 10, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I just want your personal best. by disparate.
900 points, ended February 20, 2007, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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The imagery was fantastic. The dove haunts my thoughts..
Tradition turned into this, what a beautiful reach.. thanks for taking the time to enter this in my contest, I'm sorry about the delay in judging, thanks for being patient. Good luck!
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I'm glad you enjoy my version of tradition. Thank you so much for the great comment.
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wonderful poem, great idea, and i love the way you use flighty animals to represent people. I really did like it, but since this bugger has already won a few trophies i'm gonna give the other contestants a chance k? no hard feelings
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No problem. Thanks for the nice comment.
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Thanks for the comment. I was kind of surprised it won.
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yeah your poem is best in the contest well i m gonna read more of this contest actually i had one my poem there
well i didnt get any number bu i think i will and so soon -
Oh I understand and I wish you the best at judging the contest. I know that can be really challenging at times.
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I'm glad you're so open about that. And it wasn't until I was looking through my old contests (I don't remember why now) And I saw you had won gold. If I hadn't seen that, I probably wouldn't have remembered!
-Chantelle -
To be honest, I didn't realize that this was the poem I had entered in your other contest where it one a gold. It is so hard to honestly remember every contest I enter. And I understand how you want to be fair to everyone. So I really have no problems with you not wanting to award it a gold in this contest. However, you want to handle your contest is fine with me. I'm always happy just to participate and have any of my work read.
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Hum... I am having SERIOUS conflicts about this poem! I had forgotten you were the golden winner of a different contest of mine. And I love this so much..... I was considering DQing it, but there was nothing in my rules about previous contests. So, just to let you know, in all fairness to other poets, you will not recieve gold again. I'm not saying you don't have the possibility of getting silver or bronze, because that wouldn't be fair if I took away that possibility. Is that ok with you?
-Chantelle -
Whew! Thank you so much for pointing out where I missed adding the comment in the author's box. That was so kind of you to point it out. And I have added it.
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Oh yay! I'm so glad you entered my contest! Again! lol. I love this, everytime I read it I get a little more enjoyment out of it. I even have it bookmarked! (I consider this poem one of the best to come from any of my contests). Just make sure you read the rules. I would die if I had to DQ this for something as silly as not entering some text in your authors comments.
-Chantelle -
Thanks for the kind comment. I guess being different in this case wasn't enough to help with the judging. But it was fun to write.
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What an ingenious write, I too read it twice, caught the hidden meaning the first time, but understood it more the second time..lol!
This was such a pleasure to read, and I love the metaphor of ostriches, and penguins!
Great entry!
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Thank you so much from letting me know about forgetting to include the option in the author's box. I did go back and correct it. And I'm thrilled you found the meanings underneath. Sometimes that seems to get missed a lot and that kind of discourages naturally.
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I'm sort of a loss for words to make a decent reply. I honestly wasn't even sure this poem would even be enjoyed. I'm so grateful for those who can read betweent the lines. Thanks for being so uplifting.
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Oh, I simply love your mind. You say what so many of would wish to say but have not the depth of thought and expression you do.
As befearless said, you do have the ability to lay it out, without rancour, and make those, who have their eyes wide open, aware of the underpinnings.
this is an exceptional poem. One with which I heartily agree. -
Utterly fantastic. I love it to the fullest. I thought, when I read the first lines, this seems like an odd piece. But as I got further, I realzied that I had missed something in the beginning. So I had to start over. And then the hidden meaning started appearing. So as I'm rereading this, it's becoming more and more clear as to what its about.
And I think that speaks worlds about your writting ability. To be able to hide the message, yet make it as clear as day light. That really is talent. I love the piece, it really is amazing. Good luck in the contest. But note, make sure you put the option in your authors comments. Or I will even accept an im with it, just to make sure you read the rules through. Again, great work!
-Chantelle
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