I speak,
I hear,
I say,
Yet nothing makes a sound...
I move,
I lay still,
I do everything,
Yet no movement about...
I am myself,
I am nothing,
I am a figment of your imagination,
Yet i live not and i exist not in this realm...
I am spoken,
I am past,
I am to come yet,
And forever be around...
Once upon a time,
Hence began a story,
From the beginning of mankind,
All there but never seen.
I am a thought,
The mear morsel of a mind,
An idea randomly popping up,
I'm gone in the flash and another replaces me.
Author notes
this is my feelings right now, this is the poem that formed in my head, what it means is thoughts are there yet gone before long, they existed longer then any single species yet they die faster then any organism known to man.
Written June 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- POWERFUL POEMS - all topics! by Paint this Town Red.
450 points, ended June 12, 2006, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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hey...i know it seems like its just phrases but in actuality its life. you live your life but in the flash of an eye its over, there is a beggining but most dont know, some never see, and in the end it was only a flash in the mind of the planet. you had good contest, enjoy.
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yeah i see where you're coming from.. dont really know what it's about but seems more like phases people go through if you see what i mean.. this is good, best of luck
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This is a cool poem. There are some rough parts but you can work on those.
I first had some trouble with this:
I am to come yet,
-I would probably change it to something like this:
I am yet to come
-Sounds better, right? It is also more glib, that is to say it has a stronger flow. To come yet/Yet to come. Just rearranging those words makes a big improvement.
An idea randomly popping up
This is really colloquial, that is to say, common language. This is something I might use in speech but I would try to avoid something like this in my writing. I think the verb "popping" is what ruins it, try and use a better verb.
There were some really cool things as well. I absolutely loved the last line, it's really cool and makes me think of some eternal chain. One dies, another is born.
Once upon a time,
Hence began a story,
From the beginning of mankind
Awesome flow, I absolutely love how that flows. It's sooooooo awesome!!
The last line kind of ruins that flow. Try and change it, find a line that flows better.
I am myself,
I am nothing,
I am a figment of your imagination
That is also really cool so revise the last line of that stanza to follow the flow.
Overall this is a nice poem which really describes words well. It's hard to define a word in words so great job.
Best of luck in the contest,
-Nathan
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i'm borrowing the first two lines of your poem to right my own.
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