chopper blade oscillation
war...war...war...war...war...war...
kicked clouds
settle thick
as
blood
dries brown
bodies
bagged in rows
&
five children
born
too far
north of eden
under crescent moon
and star
prayers
like dust rise,
scatter particle thin
transparent
vapors off the street
body armor
hangs
heavy on young bone
vague specters
through
rubble and dust
from dihok
to umm qasr
fossilized bleeding
clots hard
appetite aorta pretense
no god but god
(mars bleak paradise)
and
the profit
genesis to revelation
goliath never fails
to fall
in america
new myths are born
Author notes
Art credit: Howard Taylor "Landscape with Black Figure 1989"
topic: politics
In a list
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this is sad
no astute analogy can save us.I wonder what is meant when you say new myths are born after gilioth never fails to fall. Are you speaking of the opposition to the war or the right-wing myth of american rightousness or moral supremecy? -
I think you have delivered the message wonderfully. good luck in the contest
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congratulations
elaine
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Thanks for sharing your wonderful poem with us. Best of luck for the contest.
D -
I once had a discussion with a poet on here about pointillism in poetry. We agreed that the images should be static, ie without movement. You have done this here, created not just an successful impression of a huge and emotive subject, so that the reader (or a reader in fifty years time) can immediately see the whole in his mind as a picture, but you have also created a pointillistic poem. Kudos.
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Very Very Good
I liked that you kept the "chopper blade oscillation" up all through the piece. I think you have delivered the message brilliantly.
Blessings -
writing on the wall
The rebel pen, prose on a modern monolith, "Far from Eden"
young soldiers in Irak are also far from their Eden...
Dark poem , sad in a way.... -
Wonderfully powerful imagery in this.. love the succinct form too. Stark message but you wrote it so the reader (me) feels.
Red -
"prayers like dust rise" is amazing and spectacular for being so understated! good luck in the comp!
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Started me right off with Apocalypse Now, drumming in my brain and the whole poem reads like chopper blades beating...whump whump whump whump...or the pulse of blood.
Beautifully done.
This will be hard to beat
david -
I saw the PBS report tonight on the national poetry recital contest for youth, I'd like to see what they would do with this poem. A very startling intro, I'm sure it would make for great live poetry.
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genesis to revelation
goliath never fails
to fall
in america
new myths are born
-Wow.Wow.Wow. Gorgeous stuff Al.
-Curtis -
yeah, what she said ^
-
damn
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