Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Birthday, part II.

Dearly Beloved:

We have gathered here today
to abort the fetus of my highest expectations
I am the unwed mother
expelling the half-formed embryo, bloody with your limitations
and as I mourn the death of our creation
I silently drown in the life-fluid
as I reverently hold the child of our mistakes

I drift slowly toward maturation in the wake of your misgivings
- we bury that which never pushed forth into the living
and your murderous hands drip with the placenta of it who never breathed
men like you are a dying breed
cloaked in pallbearer's robes
the loveless soul beneath your clothes

stripped down to the bone -

you are alone, you are alone
- you are alone

and you have destroyed the fetus of our most dangerous liaisons
I lay sore and spent, thighs thick with angry lacerations
we have killed the child of our deepest relations

an abortion of hope
burial without cremation.

Author notes

Part two.
It's almost necessary to read part one before making an evaluation.
but please, your thoughts?
Written June 1st, 2006

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Justified Inc.
    September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    extremely powerful write!

    Wow! Remind me never,never to get into an argument with you! ha ha just joking, but your words cut through the thick of it all and leave one feeling very small! I am astounded at your abilities and talented articulations! Unparelled clarity and facinating ambiguities! Wonderful imagination and powerfully stated! You, in my opinion are one of the most passionate poets I have read on this site! I think you could make quite a convincing argument for anything that so moves you! I really enjoyed your write! I love your work!


  • Simply Bohemian
    June 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The work is pounding with hostilities however it works well for the subject matter
    I found this to be very interesting, even though it is the type of writing I would not go out and look for
    It was very well done with very to the point imagery
    Very easy reading with a good harmonizing of words

  • All his
    June 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow. this was a powerful piece. while this piece is amazingly strong and vivid with details i am for abortion being a victim of rape. however this piece did make me think and i think you did a wonderful job. amazing!