adieu to all that was but weren't
adieu, adieu
take all that was
and leave all that weren't
adieu to the lost
adieu to all that were suppose to be
adieu to love
how do you do, pain?
adieu to you too.
you were but-
adieu, adieu.
Author notes
Written June 1st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Why "adieu?" Are you french? Are you trying to make this poem about a french person who speaks mostly in english? If not... "adieu" is just awkward and out of place.
In the first line, "weren't" should apparently be "wasn't." Same for the fourth line.
The rhyming is rough and only makes "adieu" seem less purposeful, as if you chose it only to rhyme it with those words.
Overall, I'd say this could use some work. It's not really original. I've seen plenty like it. I would start with the typos I gave you and with some more proper punctuation. Change "Adieu" to "Good-bye" or perhaps "Farewell." -
Thank you for coming by to read and comment on my poem "Walk With Me". It is very much appreciated.
I like this poem of yours. You have managed to say so much with so few words.
Wishing you every success with your writing,
Take care,
Sammy. -
Interesting write. Thanks for sharing.
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Good
Very sweet,
adieu to love
how do you do, pain?
adieu to you too.
you were but-
adieu, adieu.
Like the ending, Rick -
I like your use of French here
Keep writing, this was a beautifully descriptive and sad piece Good description of heartbreak
Best wishes
Pozo
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good, buti have to say the backround is an odd choice....... to sutesy for a poem that isn't really cute. it really means something. i liked it a lot, keep going.
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nice words, different
it made all the perfect sense! short and pretty simple.....keep on writting!!!
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Interesting!You used simple words and yet I had to read it several times to really taste it properly!It misleads the mind with a mist appearence!Well done!
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Very nice! I love the first line the most. it satnds out the most to me and is a line that i can easily relate to as I'm sure a lot of others do as well! this was a good idea. great job and thank you for sharing.
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Short but I like it. It's pretty cool piece. You dida good job on it
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this was a really good poem, short and simple. If I was ever to break up with my fiance this is how I would feel but a whole lot wrost. good job!
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