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Each Drop Of Life

Your eyes can’t bear to catch another’s
For they remind you of a bird so free

Living death, tight-lipped
But your eyes dare to rest on me

It is I who hides from sunshine
And shares the love you feel

I who chose to dance on knives
I know your pain is real

Withdrawn from the rest of the world
Yet I see the scars on your skin

It is I who showers in midnight rain
You dare to let me in

You let me watch your troubled eyes
As thunder tears your ocean apart

I watch the crumbling frozen rock
Knowing it is your heart

I watch the star-bleached limbs
And your continuous screams

I watch you gazing seaward
As waves wash away your dreams

Your arms behold battle wounds
White angel wings, graffiti scars

Your straining wings are longing
For an earth beyond the stars

But your heart punctured with anger
And red eyes, is a sorry victim

I see you willing to stretch your wings
Yet you’re chained to this addiction

With that silver knife in your hand
I know what you still love to do

~ You cut to feel each drop of life ~
~ ~  And I cut to feel that too ~  ~





DancingRed. 310506

Author notes

Another depressing one, I know. But a lot went into this. All comments appreciated.
Written June 1st, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • alexandra.
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i read this again and again, trying for the life of me, to work out what made it so rythmatic (is that even a word? I don't know how to spell)

    you say alot went into this, but you didn't really have to say that. The clarity of the despair comes through easily in each and every line. It sounds like concern, although i agree with frodofan, it also sounds like a dark love.

    I still can't, but it doesn't matter, it's brilliant anyways. I say this to any of your poems, great write, and a (belated) congrats on the gold.


  • DancingRed
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you lots and lots


  • DolphinLass silver member
    September 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this one i felt as if i was drawn into it..well done

  • DancingRed
    September 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for all your beautiful comments!

  • Frodofan
    September 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is like a dark love. But it is so beautifully done.... I am very awed and impressed. Thanks for entering.

  • DancingRed
    August 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the comment and applause


  • 2hurt2feel
    August 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow that was amazing


  • manasvi
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    whoa! you start with a big bang! move on continue to build it up with a spectacular ending i must admit.. i love the form and the flow of the poem..its very captivating indeed..with deep thoughts and feelings in it..really brillantly penned.. worthy of an applause..
    much love,
    -manasvi


  • DancingRed
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Those lines you mentioned are my favourites
    And apart from the great poetry you post around here, I can tell you're a poet for the beautiful ways you describe things. My dear friend - thank you!

    Endless love,
    DancingRed.


  • crimsonfury
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    What a powerful poem - the ending was striking and the way you emphasised it was so terribly effective, it left me reeling. I loved "White angel wings, graffiti scars" and "Your heart punctured with anger". Each line is spilling with emotion. It's one of those poems that you read and then just have to sit and think about it for a while. To process it all, to take it all in, to soak up the feelings as they drip from the page.

    ~crimsonfury

1 - 10 of 10