My heart can't take another blow
The old bullets
Still saturated in my blood
Yet engraved with your name
Another attack would mean the end
Of my once endless love
Laying in pieces on the ground
Is what I've become
Accusations constantly flowing
Showing no sign of an end
What happened to us
We used to be so vibrant and joyful
You just can't accept my happiness
The fact that he makes me happy
Tears all your stitching out
Leaving you to bleed alone
I may be laying on the cement
Millions of pieces surrounding me
But at least I have him
Someone to help me glue my heart
You used to be someone I could trust
The person I'd run to with my problems
Now you're the source of them
This is all ending tonight
No longer will I allow myself the pain
No longer will you get the satisfaction
You aren't my one and only anymore
You only one small man
In a big open world
Author notes
Constructive Critisism Welcome! This is how i feel right now. Just had a fight with my ex. I like another guy Matt and he thinks i left him for Matt. Its been 2 months since we've split and im just getting close to matt now.
Written May 31st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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I can feel you in this. Most definitely. I can relate to what you are saying. If she could write like that. She would've said the same thing. But before I get nuerotic about the whole thing... Good flowing verse. Good Expression of yourself. I love this writing because of the style and flair you put into it. You sound so bitter in this it stings to read because it's so close my life. It forces me to sympathize with whom was in your mind when you wrote it. But I can't do that. So I'm taking it as poetry. Well written and excellently conveyed thoughts.
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This is a very emotional poem, I can fell you pain. You are such a brilliant writer and I think that this poem is simply magnificent hunny! You make every poem you write so powerful and this one certainly didn't change that pattern! Wonderful write!
~nikki -
You have expressed your thoughts and feelings quite well in this piece. Your poem flows with vivid imagery that makes this poem easy to relate to. A beautiful poem that empowers!
Well done and good luck in the contest!
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This is really touching and very relateable. (I think that's a word lol). I can definitely say I've been in your position so I know what it's like. You've done a good job here. I think you made some minor typos, though. You might want to look it over. Anyway, thank you for entering :-)
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I liked this. Breakups are hard, yes, but he needs to realize that you two are over now... maybe he should try and move on? this is awesome, your words flow really well.
Good luck
§hattered:Exi§tence -
I like this. It's really emotional and heartfelt and wonderful. I wish I could say something meaningful and helpful, but everything I can think of to say has been said before I think.
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Bloody Brilliant
It seems like a very emotional poem. I like it alot. I think some of it may have been off on some parts, but who's to judge. I wish you the best of luck. Keep on writing. Don't ever stop.
God Bless,
Lindsey -
great write very well done good luck in the contest
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i love this poem!!!!! it takes you deep in thought and i really like that. it's awesome!!!! great job!!!!
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This is a really great poem!!It is so sad!! itz awesome! keep making more<33
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wow this is awesome, i really like it and can relate to it to great job keep writing
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great poem. lots of emotion. i'm sorry if he makes you feel that way. break ups are very hard. someone should kick that boys bum.
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aw thanks
its great knowing i have so many people behing me. Dont worry he's already paid for it. Im now moving 8 hours away from him, and my new crush is coming down to kick the poo out of him lol. Thanks for the comment, support and read. 
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Okay where is this freak? No body hurts my baby niece without paying for it. Oh sweety, life is hard and love is harder. I love you to piece and hate seeing you hurt. It will all get better, I promise.
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BEAUTIFUL. touching. so many words could descirbe this but it would take forever. so im just gonna say Awesome write. i love it.
--Pancho -
LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! its really good, no joke. keep writing
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wow this is an awsome POEM great job thats how i feel right now great job with the poem good luck for the contest..it was a sensational piece
-Des- -
emotion is seeping form the poem. i love it. it speaks truth and its written fantastically. keep it up.
rache -
I love you and i dont like to see you hurting like this!<3 ~ yes. and i guess if he doesnt let go soon, he's going to be making a big mistake! It seems you two were great friends-before you were dating. and why not just leave it as that? if he keeps doing this to you-he's not only going to lose a great girl-he's goign to lose your friendship. I love you hun and i hope you're doing okay!
~Stephani -
wow okay that comment was just, wow! You took words right out of my mind and you are COMPLETLY RIGHT! If he doesn't let go of me soon and let me live my life with who and what makes me happy, he will be gone and he will be gone soon. The fact that hes doing this now is just idk, i just find it kinda ironic when he puts all this stuff on me a month b4 i move out of town. Thanks so much for the comment and the read. It means so much to me, you dont even know.
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Hey love.
Such a heart-wrenching poem! But i understand why you wrote it .. and you had every right to. This is so beautiful though Shanna. And im sorry that you're feeling this way but Nick just needs to 'let go' ... you two need to keep your friendship without him getting jealous of you and Matt.
Like you just said! He cant stand to see that you're going to be happy-while he's not because he THINKS he needs you. Girl! Im sorry Nick just wont let go. He needs to!!! You are a great girl and i see why he wants you! but...its over between you two! he needs tog et a life and stop ruining yours! I LOVE YOU!!
~Stephani -
this is very good, you change your voice and tone very well. you are very good as a poet
-good job -
I hope things get better for you. There's a proverb "Time heals all wounds". I hope it will heal yours.
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woo powerful words
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The emotion in this is very strong, you make it obvious how you feel. I think you did a great job, the imagery and wording is very good. I especially like the lines at the very beginning about the bullets and the one at the very end about being a small man in a big world. Great job!
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Beautifully Written
OMFG soooo good, its honest, i love it!!!!
You used to be someone I could trust
The person I'd run to with my problems
Now you're the source of them
This is all ending tonight
I love that, and i can definatly relate, alot of my poems are about my ex, lol. thanks for sending out the link, i hope to read more!
SW -
good writing, keep it up.
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beautiful... i loved it. and i hope things work out between you your ex and matt.. dont let anybopdy stop you from doing what you want. follow your heart, and lister to it, but listen carfully it wispers!!
keep up the great work
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo -
-blinks- Still feels weird you liking a Matt. xD I'm sorry. lol Very nice though, quite interesting to find somebody that writes about their ex too.
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wow this is really a great poem. are you having some trouble in a relationship or something, if ya need someone to talk to just im me and ill give you the best advice. you will prolly ever hear. but this a really great poem
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Tears all your stitching out
Leaving you to bleed alone
by far my favourite lines in this poem.
ur words are great and i think u would enjoy my poems also. jsut for a boredom buster
haha
ok best wishes,
i applauded.
xx -
this was really very good i truly enjoyed this piece keep it up
avec amour *~Krymsin Kyss~* -
amazing. I got inspiration by this poem. Very well writtten i loved every stanza. Keep up to great work. Sorry for the heartbreak though.
Rose -
I really like the poem and I love the very first stanza! It is my favorite part of the entire piece. Good Job! P.S. Sorry to hear about the fight between you and your ex.
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Great job!!I liked it!My heart can't take another blow
"The old bullets
Still saturated in my blood
Yet engraved with your name"the beginning rocked!!
I really like that part.Its awesome.Keep it up!!
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