On board the Marseilles Diligence
my love and I did ride
And there she gambled on a chance
turned her sweet face and lied
I had no mind to recompense
but trembled with due fear
Of fell and certain circumstance
of payment deep and dear
On board the Marseilles Diligence
my love and I did kiss
By rain and river’s confluence
where meeting waters hiss
A person of great prominence
who boarded at the town
Betrayed my lover’s innocence
and played me for a clown
I stopped the Marseilles Diligence
beyond the forest deep
In heat I murdered all romance
and laid my love to sleep
So now by man’s black contrivance
I am obliged to die
By law’s sharp-bladed severance
and by my lover lie
Beware the Marseilles Diligence
if you would travel south
The Reaper’s hand and governance
the wraith’s complaining mouth
The Fates’ insane and horrid dance
the ghostly march of brides
Beside you in the Diligence
my restless spirit rides
Author notes
Written May 31st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- The ghostly presence by Karlie67.
650 points, ends September 7, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Wow this is so cool! I love how you end it it was really awesome, thank you for entering with this fantastic write!
Good luck & keep writing!
Karlie
xxx -
Thank you, Choirangel. I do my best, as the inspiration comes and goes. I am glad you liked this one - thank you for your comments.
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oh wow this was great. but sad in its own ways too ..very flowing throughout the whole piece though, and very good with spacing, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry here.
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Caducus, I think any comment from me beyond "thank you" would be superfluous. Thank you.
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After readingn your comment on my latest post i thought I'd read one of yours and the impact of the comment you left on mine is more special because you write so eloquently yourself.
This flows like a chardonnay and has a very vitorianesque feel to it. You've combined a more modern meter and tone to an truly olde fashoined feel without loss of focus. I've read many of these types of poems before and to be honest most suck ass but this has a novel idea and narrative with characterizations and intricate word craft.
Well done ! -
Toots, it's mutual.
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Bazza, there is nothing I can teach you, dear lad - I long for the genius of a folk-poet sometimes.
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This is just beautiful! I love the ending - I love all things ghostly, and this is really great! You have a talent I admire, dear sister.
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Beutifully written and vividly presented.
Mairi I love this wonderful vividly painted poem that is excellent and gives a poor raw folk poet something to appreciate and learn from, even from far away down here.
Wonderful story and cleverly written with much skill and talent. -
David - praise from Caesar.
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exceptional
An impeccable ballad of great eloquence and beauty. Your pursuit of excellence is just one of the many fine qualities which are so apparent in your poetry. Keep up the marvelous work!
All the best!
david a.ka. Nevada -
And there I was thinking it was 100% me!
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Bravo!
Oh, this IS most excellent indeed! Just a bit of Alfred Noyes and a drop or two of Fitz-James O'Brien! I loved this one! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! (Did I say "Bravo!!!"?...Bravo!) -
Love ya back, Sis. One "brilliant" from you is worth the Nobel Prize!
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Vale, many thanks. I wrote this on a journey this morning, in a notebook, in spidery, jagged writing, each image crashing after the next into my mind.
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Wow - just wow. Brilliant - I will be back when I have a chance to give a better review doll. Love ya! J
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Amazing
This really is a marvellous piece of writing.Thoroughly enjoyable to read; I find the rhyming techniques that you use to be exquisite in execution and effect.
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Many thanks for your flattering comments (I mean I feel flattered, more so knowing you are sincere). I greatly appreciate them.
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Hi
It is a real pleasure to read a work so far ahead of the mundane routinely posted.
Your writing is smooth, practiced, and meticulously adheres to poetic form. You represent that thin upper crust of poets who deserve to be published and more importantly read.
Farkas1
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1 - 19 of 19
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