Thanksgiving 1996

no steaming turkey
graced our table
that year
there was no pie
no crust that crumbled
when bitten by a fork's silver teeth
no golden sweet potatoes
with melting marshmallow rainbows
no one asked
"what are you most thankful for?"

it was complete chance
that called me from my dreams
into the kitchen
where i found you
standing beside the table
barely visible beneath food
that did not include turkey
pie or potatoes

the same voice that called me
told my heart to say goodbye
you were leaving
you had your bulky coat
to hide your stony heart
and your shoes
to carry you away
from the prison you claimed
we created for you

i clung to you
like a young koala
clings to its mother
the tears that stung my face
chilled on the cool surface
of your waterproof jacket
i begged you silently
stay
be my daddy
but your heart was deaf
to the cry of mine

the door was my voice
the rusty spring whimpered
as you pressed the frail door
away from its steady frame
it wailed as the door fell back
and sobbed against strong wood
as it came to rest
and your footsteps
crunched into silence

the clock's tick mocked
"what are you most thankful for?"
and there was no Grinch miracle
that christmas