Positive attention weaves
elegantly either side
of where I need it most,
it's faint reflection in my eyes.
They're all crying or they're dying
and I'm sighing, yeah, but why
am accepting that I'm going to have to lie?
Either praying they'll believe,
or hoping that they'll leave
to save the few who are dodging more than blanks.
Immune to reality
I hold on to their pain
But there's no sanctuary
in an other's necessary gain.
So I cry but I deny
any blame for this crime
for it seems consequence
would surely lead to my demise.
Author notes
Fakers are weird.
Written May 30th, 2006
A contest entry
- Cry Rape (Contest) by Your Messiah.
300 points, ended June 17, 2006, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
wow . awsome write . very powerful . "imune to reality " is probably mi fave line . great
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Wow, I love it. The tenth line (the realy long one
) is probably my favorite--such an interesting way of putting it. This is a great piece, and if the rest of your poetry is this good, then I will have no choice but to add you to my favorites and read through it all. Or at least, some of it... I can be lazy. Good luck in the contest, this poem is awesome!
~Kelsey -
This is very powerful, and you have quite a few lines in here that get and keep attention and are truly awesome. I think that you did a brilliant job in conveying why liars are so disgusting..
Good luck in the contest
Faerie
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beautiful
whoa..
that was pretty awesome!
"Immune to reality"
i love that!
amazing,
beautiful write.
keep it up.
~!~! ¢¾ Sammie ♥ !~!~
PS im just a random person reading random poems.
Edited on Jun 06, 11:31 because 'had to add the PS part'. -
Powerful stuff. "it's faint reflection in my eyes." An omen! Hehe. Ahh, these lines make me wanna orgasm. "Immune to reality/ I hold on to their pain/ But there's no sanctuary/ in an other's necessary gain." Very nice. I'm sure it will sound better when you read it to me like you said. Just a little bit a critisism; Could you please check over the punctuation? Like capitalise the "I"s in that line as it's part of what I'm judging. Beautiful write, baby. You have talent whether you like it or not.
-Princess Me
.x
Edited on May 30, 6:00 p.m. because ''.
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