He never wanted to hurt a fly
The nicest man I've known
A glossy blue mirror
An opening to the one thing he loved
He had a smile of care
And a hug worth dying for
But his eyes grew worn
The mirror shattered silently
The door got slammed shut
Locked up tight
And his lips with that smile
Turned purple and cold
He was fed the scraps of life
And never wanted more
He didn't deserve all that he got
And what he got took him down.
*************************************
He never wanted to hurt a fly
The nicest man Ive known
He didn't deserve what he got
And what he got took him down
Author notes
My teacher (and mentor) challenged me to condense one of my longer poems down to exactly 4 lines, but to keep the original theme and voice. The first poem is the beginning poem, the second is the condensed.
Written May 30th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Pretty good job there, Claire. Nicely done with getting it down to 4 lines. Might look at the third line of the short one - not sure I totally understand it. I think you're enjoying this and doing well at it too.
Paul -
b-e-a-utiful...like you<3
-
very nice write, im not too sure at the whole story or what exactly he got, but nonetheless it was a nice write and i enjoyed it
Adding your comment:
2 old applause
