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Viola (villanelle)

The music flows with passion in my head
But somewhere in my brain a nerve’s not there
My bow and string won’t sing, but squawk instead

When background notes and CD sleeves are read
And aural gold of Riebl strikes with flair
The music flows with passion in my head

With soul refreshed and inspiration fed,
I raise the stand, put rosin on the hair…
My bow and string won’t sing, but squawk instead

I try my best, but whilst the warmth has bled,
It wants to work, but somehow doesn’t dare.
The music flows with passion in my head

My every dream of soulful music fled,
The sullen, heartless shell of tune will blare
My bow and string won’t sing, but squawk instead

My lesson comes, viola playing dead
Despite my efforts, in my teacher’s stare
The music flows with passion in my head
My bow and string won’t sing, but squawk instead

Author notes

About my pained efforts to play the viola well... lol, an emo piece about playing the viola, there's a new one! Rip it to shreds, dudes
Written May 29th, 2006

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • JazzALTernative silver member
    June 18, 2006
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    True, how our musical vision is beyond our physical efforts - it comes out in many ways - including poetry. This may be said of our dreams as well.

  • Bob the Elder
    June 4, 2006
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    and yeh, should have learned cello instead

  • Bob the Elder
    June 4, 2006
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    hahaha, cool.


  • Musical Anomaly
    June 3, 2006
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    Thankyou for your comment
    The word squawk was sort of intended like that, because when I play it doesn't sound good... Dad told me I sounded like a mosquito once, hehe. If you meant another word that sounds derogatory, but doesn't make you think of pirates, I'll think about it. Once again, thankyou


  • individuality gold member
    June 3, 2006
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    it is a good piece though i feel the word squawk brings it down a little, paerhaps altering that to say something else? when i see the word squawk it bring to my mind parrots and pirates

  • gradstudentaz
    June 3, 2006
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    Beautiful!

  • SilentbutScreaming
    June 3, 2006
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    Let the music of passion continue to flow through your head, great job


  • Faded silver member
    June 3, 2006
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    Lmao- first, let me congratulate you on one of the most original emo pieces I've ever seen
    I love the form of this- it seems to be really effective in reiterating the themes of your poem. i should imagine many a musician (me included) will feel your pain!
    ~Faded


  • thelordreigns gold member
    June 3, 2006
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    This is excellent = a well deserved gold. Villanelles are very difficult. You have carried the tone and message well throughout. Bravo - joanne


  • masterblaster gold member
    June 3, 2006
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    Hi, I said go for gold and my friend you did, congratulations, hugs Di we are having trouble getting messages to you, you have been invited to be in my contest so please go and take a look, hugs Di

  • masterblaster gold member
    June 1, 2006
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    Hi, love it, I think this is the best I have seen in a long time,all the best in the comp, go for gold my friend, hugs Di


  • poetryality silver member
    May 30, 2006
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    An excellent villanelle in my opinion. Your use of the words musicians embrace is educational and that's an impressive edge in poetry. Very nice indeed. My little sister used to practice on that viola, and oh my goodness it was torture. She plays pretty well today, even invested in a finely crafted instrument a few years ago. Great job! I wish you the best in the challenge.

    Renee

  • ecrivain01
    May 30, 2006
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    This is wonderful. I'm impressed. I rarely see a villanelle I'd put in the same class with "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night", but I do believe I've found one. I'd save this as a favorite if I knew how.

1 - 13 of 13