Cynical words taunt her, driving her crazy
Atrocious wounds are hidden beneath those long black sleeves
Fear is pervading throughout her mind rapidly
As she is caged within herself
They see her tears and swollen eyes thinking they're comical
She's slowly giving up, and she's dancing with death
And guilt plays her a sad tune
Confusion and doubt matricide her painfully
She hates what she gazes upon in the mirror
How she wishes it would shatter
Blood stained razors and tear soaked pillows are on the to do list tonight
Her wrists become numb and the razor drops to the floor
The vermilion spills and runs on her poor canvas skin
There's no cleaning this pathetic bloody mess
How she wishes there was someone who wouldn't betray her
The seams of her soul are torn and broken
Lies drive her mad and leave her in turmoil
Deriving her of her small hopes
All she needs now is someone who understands her
Will you be the one to save her?
Author notes
ok i really dunno where this came from. i'm not too thrilled with it. tell me what u think plz and be brutal!
Written May 28th, 2006
A contest entry
- NOTHING BUT WINNING(501 entries) ( a truthwriter's contest ) by sweethelper.
300 points, ended May 31, 2006, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Thanks hun for the wonderful comment!! TTyl
-
OH.. that was every well spoken! i really, really like this poem well done and keep up the great work!
- thank you very, very much for the comment on my poetry!
once again very well done! -
oh wow! i really really like this poem! its really... deep. its very powerful and you can feel the emotion just spill onto the page. once again, great write and keep it up!!
*nessa marie* -
realteable, i can feel that its from deep place where you hurt. great write!
♥ -
I like this poem it's well written and it's about something real. Awesome, keep going.
-
woooooooooooooooooooooow ! this is just so great ! thank you sooooooooooooooooo much for this wonderful and lovely entry and best wishes in the contest !
yours
Truthwriter -
*squee* so awesome lol. I really liked this, though I do agree with master-of-shadow, the ending is a bit lacking. Otherwise though it is very well written and of course I just love your vocabulary lol. Great job ^.^
xJessie -
Oh... I really liked this. Well done!! It was really powerful and it hit me hard.
She's slowly giving up, and she's dancing with death
that was my favorite line... Well done
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx -
Thanks for commenting. Yeah, I agree with you the ending needs work lol. Thanks again
Isabel
-
i like it, though the ebding lacks impact the rest is very well put together and clear with a good strucutre. the expression is strong throughout really holding the reader well.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
2 old applause
