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A rose is percious and so is She

a rose is precious and so is she,
i just hope she would like someone like me,
i could keep trying',
inside my heart keep lying'
sometimes can't live with myself and just start crying'

you see she isn't like anyone i have ever known,
i like her a lot but cannot be shown,
she is the sun on a hot summer day,
i would give the world for her any day,
she will be the one i love till the day of my last breath,
the one i will like always till my death,
i just wish she could understand,
that i will never like to hold anyone elses hand

From the time i see her, till the time we say good bye
Still in my heart i am keeping a lie
Hiding it from the world to know
I love her a lot but it still cannot show
i wish she knows, i truly do
wouldn't you wish someone will love you?

Being the happiest when she's around
smiling' just because i hear her voices sound
changing' my plans just so i could see her there
her not knowing she is my air

Always wanted myself to say "it's you"
But after that wouldn't know what to do
will she say it back? or spit it back in my face?
is all the time thinking about her be some big waste?

I Wish she finds out,I truly do,
I just want her to know "I love you

Author notes

to a girl i like but she doesn't know i like her like that
Written May 7th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 25 of 25
  • kales4
    January 5, 2008

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    THank you for entering my contest! this poem was very emotional. THank you for sharing. Its so hard to love someone and not have them love you back..... you captured that in the poem. Good Luck!

  • Samantha Amergirdol
    September 5, 2007

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    An adorable and heartfelt poem, though I was a bit confused by the random capitilization of some words which are capitalized in certain places but not others. Perhaps I'm missing the point. A great write, anyways!

    Thanks for entering!


  • WhollySurrendered
    August 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Beating gold member
    July 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "i just wish she could understand,
    that i will never like to hold anyone elses hand"
    What an original way of saying you care. It's so sweet and so innocent. I really like that!


  • crimsondew
    July 11, 2007

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    An excellent piece on love. youhave used nature too to express it... Well done... A pleasure to read. ALl the best In my contest!


  • Procrastination
    May 26, 2007
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    Wonderful. My comment box has frozen, that's why all my writings in here.


  • neenabean
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for the enter, and good luck

    however........... i think you need to re-read what it was i was hoping for


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    April 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow just wow! that was soooooooooooooooooo good! I really enjoyed it!!! I like poems about Love the most!!! "a rose is precious and so is she,
    i just hope she would like someone like me" I am sure she will like you! especially after writing a poem like this about her! excellent job and the best of luck in my contest!!!



    -Steve-


  • cardiphonia
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    thank you for entering!

    Honest and heartfelt yet I have a couple of bones to pick with you. One thing, spelling!! I'm pretty sure you mean 'precious' rather than 'percious'. Also if you have the 'g' left on a word like 'crying'....you don't need the ' after it. so it is just {everything} not {everything'}....I think you might need to rework the rhythm and check out your syntax...some of the lines don't make any grammatical sense. If you could add or take away some words to create a better rhythm..try reading your poem out loud and you'll see what I mean. thanks for entering again.


  • BabyBun silver member
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Really sweet - I think most of us will relate to that feeling of - well, I like this person...do they feel the same? Very well expressed.


  • shysky
    March 21, 2007

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    The poem is very sweet and definetely suited what I was thinking about. Someone who doesn't quite know how to respond to an overture of love. Very well done, thank you for entering my contest.


  • The Vulture
    January 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    good

    The rhythm of the poem was a bit off but the rhyming scheme is good. This poem is very sweet and I hope the girl that it was intended for will read it and find out what a sweet guy you are.

    Thanks for entering my contest.


  • wolfcub
    January 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is really sweet. I don't think you should tell her until you feel a bit more comfortable with her reaction, but maybe try spending a bit more time with her.
    A really lovely piece. Maybe you could try showing her some of your poetry? (not anything too mushy or contreversial, just something sweet and short/funny?)
    Thankyou for entering


  • AngelKissez059
    November 19, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    greatly done i loved it and you know about this i say "go for it" you never know the outcome and alot of mean people will be snotty but if its someone with a great personality they wont regect you great job and thanks for entering! good luck!~kelc *god blesS*


  • Anjole-Of-The-Artz
    November 2, 2006
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    Aw..

    Show her this poem. I'm sure she'll care if you do because it's beautiful <3 God Bless, With Love, Jo

  • kimba
    September 26, 2006
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    great poem i think you should tell her. goodluck in the competition


  • wakingdevil
    August 30, 2006
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    Very good!Thanks for entering and best of luck


  • rejected xox love
    August 16, 2006
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    this was really sweet. I hope to one day experience great feelings like this or to have someone like me like this.
    good luck in the contest!
    -rejected-


  • intanglio2ring
    August 15, 2006
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    Dear Aryanjoon007,
    You better show her your poem and tell her of your love - women really like the mushy thing we sometimes do! But if you hold back you'll never know - so off you go. . . go on. . .do it now!
    Thanks for a beautiful entry and Good Luck in the contest!
    Tang


  • JadedxPassion
    July 18, 2006
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    This Is Beautiful. It Has A Story Behind It, Which I Like. Thanks For Entering, And Best Luck.


  • daniellomello
    July 17, 2006
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    This is a lovely poem. I'm not sure how unordinary it is, but still...very nice. Good work and best of luck.

    - Dani


  • nova4eva
    July 17, 2006
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    the love you show in this poem is so real. it screams at the reader and we truly know that this is a very serious relationship. thank you for sharing this with me
    xoxoxoxoxo

    <3 alwayz
    Nova


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    June 29, 2006
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    the poem is so nice, so sincere, thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest

    Linda


  • loving.a.soldier
    June 11, 2006
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    This was very good. You should definitely tell her. What's the worse that could happen? Because if you don't tell her...chances are she likes you back but is just too afraid to tell you. Then you will never know what it was like to be with her. But anyways, amazing piece! Thanks for entering it!!! Keep it up and good luck!!

    The One and Only...

    ~Lynn Jones <3


  • Just waiting
    June 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful piece. oh you should tell her that you like her like that. if your lucky she may feel the same. you may never know until you ask her.

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