At first I'm not so sure,
but your eyes tell me I'm yours.
I show you everything,
so why can't you take off your mask?
No matter, it's our time.
I'm feeling warmth and fear.
Pushing you into me
as one would join two lumps of clay.
Pain, fear, love, confusion.
Would you believe I almost cried?
Then you stopped, mouth agape.
I believe that's when you left me,
your eyes saw far away.
You managed to split us although
I could not see our seams.
You look at me, disappointed,
You vaguely answer why.
I don't know what you expected,
What do your eyes say now?
To see your turn away from me..
I think I'll break this time,
then you mumble-
'Fuckin' Chuck Norris...'
Author notes
The changing of tense was on purpose.
Written May 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Haha, not everyone can live up to Chuck Norris. He and Vin Diesel DO rule the world. I really enjoyed this, deep and silly, I love it!
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s'gooood
took a shot at some biggies here and I like it
plus how can you really go wrong with a Dodgeball reference? -
so i like the twist to the end... if thats what you would like to call it. 'Fuckin' Chuck Norris...' that made this poem kinda funny actully. it is also what really made me like it. don't get me wrong it is one i would have liked but not as much as i do now. it also put more of a smily feeling to these depressing heart break poems. not happy but something to make you wish there was more... but there isent, nope just left out in the blue; no answers for the questions. good job. hope that you get some more good reviews. ~pixie~
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amazing
Wow... Chuck Norris hits another big time love... oh crap.
I hate that. Really, what did Chuck do so wrong to deserve that kind of torture and torment? No, I'm just kidding. I know the story. I find it amusing. I just like to annoy people with pointless ramblings.
No, seriously. This is a very remarkably written piece. It has a lot of almost pain, but there is some fear. I know that there are some hidden emotions, but they are unplaceable that this very second.
Great write. It's just grand. Thanks for sharing, doll.
Much love, as always,
Bubbles -
i'm not really sure why, but that line at the end, about chuck norris is somehow fitting.
But in all seriousness, this is a sad peice. Introspective maybe?
I also like the fisrt few lines:
"At first I'm not so sure,
but your eyes tell me I'm yours.
I show you everything,
so why can't you take off your mask?"
I've been a big fan of using the proverbial 'mask' as a metaphore for hiding someone's feelings.
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1 - 5 of 5
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