Child
New soul
Taught to love
Cares for others
Pure
Teen
Older
Taught to think
Thinks of self first
Vain
Man
Full grown
Learns success
Forgets peers needs
Lost
Old
Return
Bring back love
Help save mankind
Care
Life
Circle
Love to love
Needs to happen
Now
Author notes
This is a Lanturne chain.
Written May 23rd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- whatever you feel like! by chardonnay.
300 points, ended December 27, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling all Poets for Poetry by Dark Whispers.
375 points, ended March 26, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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beautiful lanturne, i love the way you have ordered the poem, thankyou for entering the contest and good luck
chardonnay
(p.s keep the lanturne's coming your brilliant at them) -
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Thanks chardonnay
Thnak you so much for your comments. They are greatly appreciated. Thnak you for hosting this contest.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem Night Phoenix. It is truely appreciated.
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The song "Circle of Life" from the Lion King just started to play as I clicked this poem... that's odd.
This is a prefect illustration of life. The harder we work, the crueler we are. As children, we are innocent and learning. We love. As we grow old, we realise and repent our mistakes. We love again. Nice job.
Good luck in the contest! -
You have done well in describing the circle of life in this
form. I like Lanturnes and this one speaks loud. Good
luck in the contest..take care. -
Thank you for comments again grannyeri. This was the first time a I tried the lanturne form. I enjoyed trying a new form.
Edited on Sep 02, 7:38 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Great chain you have penned here. Shapes of lanterns similar and all look so good as one reads downward.
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An interesting piece, though I don't think it is the circle of life for everyone.
Thanks for entering.
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A nice poem to reel off the stages of man nay his life albeit in a sphere which can be broaden for if man fails [third stanza reference] then he can be a nervous wreck an asocial person a recluse if there was one and then your thoughts are perfect and the ability to put them in this form requires dexterity and flair,which you portray in abundance with your "brevity is wit" style Shubs
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Thank you for your comments mysticstorm. Go easy on him now. I did ask for a critical review
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This is wonderful. A true circle of life, short and sweet, very easy to understand. I am now goind to check out heliogabalus page and work. Seem to be a bet harsh and maybe a scientist.lol
Great job and good luck in the contest. -
Thank you so much Everglow for the kind comments. I am fairly new to writing poetry and I have been experimenting with different poetic sytles.
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I like how this is written... Very few words... complex message. This is a great write. I like the style that you choose. Very good.
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Thank you so very much for your comments heliogabalus. They are greatly appreciated.
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Our thinking must be open ended, plyed with the trembled breath apprehension before one engages all that cannot be thought: love. We do not make the loved other anything other than what he or she is: we love them as they are, for we cannot on them find a bottom, and into this depthless abyss we may safely fall and be selfless and inexplicable.
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This is a bit too didactic for my taste. The innocence of children is more a result of their lack of soul- thus their reputed unselfishness. But observing children (or else read the perspicacious studies of melanie klein) it becomes clear that they are violent, self-centred, as often as they are playful and giving. Our idealizations tend to gloss over this empirical fact.
I appreciate your sentiment: as an ideal. But thought can also be liberatory. Thought is not in itself bad- it helps humanity overcome its situation, and to critique those in power who abuse this world. Is not poetry itself, as language, as communcication, a special variety of thought?
Thinking that we can encircle the mutable mystery of life with thought is still one of humanities greatest crimes, squashing and bashing existence to fit an ideal. -
Thank you again for the comments grannyeri. You know that we are going to have to stop meeting this way. the neighbors are starting to get suspcious
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The circle of life in these few verses - well written, easy to read and understand. have used this form too 1,2,3,4,1.
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Thank you so much for your applause and your encouragement Aurine. They are greatly appreciated.
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Really good
wow..This is really good!! I felt not only had you shown us the circle of life with your words, your poem itself seemed to be a circle. Well done!.....So much said with so little..
~Aurine~ -
Thank you for the comments superstition. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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I really like how you bring us through life within such a few amount of words. Quantity doens't have anything to do with quality with this piece. You did a really nice job with it. I always enjoy poems that reflect on time and brings us through more than just one time period.
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Thank You so much for your comments Robin Candor. This is a completely different style for. I wasn't sure how it would come out.
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all of it
Man I sure appreciate your comments on "Bonfire" but you should run a campaign and feature this! I am out of applauses or you would get one. Dang, and to think that I could be downstairs watching jJopardy instead of absorbing this circle of life work. No way, I'll stay right here with the thinkers and the dreamers. RC
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
3 old applause
