Jesus, I adore the simple plan
by grand design:
could I, a better reason, find?
But my heart’s on the hunt
and I yawn—what is going on?
My vein’s bulge, my anger swells,
my phantom rage…
I could not bear the thought of looking back
in older age,
not with sad eyes—but neither are they glad,
the thought of seeing these years
and not caring.
What could be as sad?
Where has my passion gone?
To look back, and yawn…
perhaps at a bar, staring at my reflection in the glass,
the last to leave the place;
perhaps at a wealthy house I call home,
staring (wine in hand, business suit still on,
but with untied tie hanging resignedly from my unbuttoned shirt collar)
into a blank fire.
I adore that fire, so much.
I long for a fire of my own.
Sick of being alone!
I long to burn with passion.
I burn for burning.
Passion—the wilderness—seems so far from this world.
I would throw myself outside these walls,
outside the solitary comfort of solitary halls!
I would toss in the waves in a vessel too weak!
And I would smile, too!
I would grapple with a bear
in some backwoods somewhere.
I would.
I would raise my sword above my head;
whirl my sling before the giant,
stare down a lion—my bow bent sure!
Where is my adventure?
Neither here, nor there.
Oh God, share with me this cup of wonder.
But where has our passion gone, sodales?
Shall I conquer nature? Or let it conquer me?
For zeal, I hold my plea.
The passion?
Is it far off? Just out for lunch?
Must I go to the dark uncharted heart of Africa?
Must I dive the deep Atlantic?
Must I fly so far?
Or is this passion
only at the bottom
of the water we drink every day?
Oh.
So there it is.
Ha. Why didn’t I see it before?
The water does distort it, I guess—and for worse.
Jesus, I…
want that adventure.
Your cross, your cross.
Then, carry it!
I’m so lost…
and so
found.
Author notes
Written May 23rd, 2006
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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haha yes I do mean "yawn". I am a very intentional writer.
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Thanks Wade! And yeah this topic struck a chord for me, too, though probably not because of the same experience. Anyways feel free to read more of mine, and I'll make sure to look up some of yours!
in Christ and God bless,
Evan -
Thanks Brenda! And thanks for reading! Hmm "creative is the answer". I like that. Makes you think. Hey feel free to read more
and I'll make sure to check out some of yours!
in Christ and God bless,
Evan -
Thanks angel-lover! And thanks for reading! By the way, I love your quote...very true. Anyways, feel free to come back for more And perhaps I will check out some of yours.
in Christ and God bless,
Evan -
COLIN! where have you BEEN? we need to email each other more! haha yup. anyways thanks for the comment! AND THE POINTS! Hope you're doing well. Are you back from Senegal? How is that? How're you doing? Ah, we gotta catch up... I'll send you an email sometime soon.
in Christ adn God bless,
Evan -
do you really mean to say yawn in this , or yearn ?
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This was a great poem to read. I think I've felt this way before. I'm very much an intellectual, although I've managed to balance my life out somewhat, but there was a time I could see myself as a single, lonely university professor somewhere, totally out of touch with the world. Maybe because at the time, I was a single university student, too busy even for my friends, and out of touch with the world. So, this struck a chord, and was very well written.
JWM -
excellent
very good very easy to read many go though this every day it tells the truth does not look so good that it can not be truth it touches the heart for we all go though these times it is very good and a tribuate to go keep on pening such wonderful poems take care brenda -
great write
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For some reason, this poem works deep into the heart..
Maybe it hits something that I had there from the start..
That I had never known, never found before
Like water on forgotten shores
That move as swift as the summer swallow
Where only wind is there to follow..
Great poem man, wish that i could write as well as this!!
Keep up the amazing work, maybe one day I'll be able to write this good!
In Christ, your bro
Colin
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