19 February, 2001
Once upon a midnight scary,
as I wandered drunk and weary,
My can of bud ever so handy,
Stumbling along, mumbling a song,
thinking, hoping, praying for one more chivas regal
to make this blackout a dandy
“A drink, just one more”
I hear some bird say so clearly
My vision blurring, my speech is slurring
as another bloodymary I am pouring
“Who the heck is that” I mumbled
guzzling a gallo port I stumbled, gently stumbled
As suddenly there came to my chamber door
A banging, a gentle banging
Almost a clanging as my head starts spinning,
a gentle spinning,
once again, my sweet lenore
John Barleycorn is winning
“A drink, just one more”
I hear some bird say so clearly
“I’ll be there in a second” I mutter
My chamber now seems so full of darkness,
my life seems so hopeless,
my song is so pointless
“why don’t this bird stop rapping, gently rapping.
` leave me in my misery,
a gentle misery, forevermore” I stutter
“A drink, just one more ----NEVERMORE”
I hear some bird barely
again I hear a knocking;
it begins to seem so shocking;
as I look around my chamber,
all my possessions I am hocking;
all my friends and foes away from me are flocking;
even I realize now, I need, to my head,
a good knocking;
a gentle knocking;
To stop the havoc, the dismay, the rebellion, the terrible scorn
that has been brought to my life by John Barleycorn
“a drink, just one more---------NEVERMORE”
I hear some bird say ever so clearly
In my soul a light begins to flicker,
a gentle flicker
As I start walking to my door
ever so quicker
My bourbon on the rocks to the floor, I start pouring
I no longer want to be a drunkard boring
As my heart begins to start a-pounding,
a gentle pounding,
A new courage I am founding
as I grasp the doorknob, now I feel a yearning,
I will open myself to a new learning
the door opens and there before me
two gentlemen so tall standing
“Good evening, sir, I’m dr. bob, we’ve come to help you once more”
and then the other fellow looked at me so sternly
as he shook my hand so firmly
“we’re here to take you to AA, my name is bill”
as they slipped my coat over my shoulders, and helped me down the stairs from my chamber door
I felt determined, we can do this, I felt alone no more
“a drink, just one more------ NEVERMORE”
Author notes
Written May 23rd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Hey - I likey
The rhyme and flow is Poe - the story from the heart - funny also - so well put together - the last stanza is choice for sure - haha NEVERMORE - I have a poem on my site called "Promises Promises" you may like and also one called "Rako Rako" - Bless God - Joe ------------------------------------- cheers
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I'll drink to that...
Very interesting read
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Interesting write here
I read one sort of like this once before a long time ago not identicle but in the same meaning and yes indeed AA its a whole family group for if the family doesnt go as well then the person si adicted will continue to have the problems that often caused it to begin with . All adictions effects the whole family and if the rest of the family refuses to admit they need help then why should the one adicted feel he needs help . Think about it
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Hehe, this one really put a smile on my face A great parody, very wittily done, yet also with a genuine message, I feel.
Nice work
ELW
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Fantastic write, got me thinking of the wicker man with the john barleycorn mention. Spremely crafted with great images,
well done indeed,
Floorboards.
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Very clever
This sounds like a personal story by the timeline from 2001 to 2006. Good use of the word "NEVERMORE"
Patty -
I loved it. very creative. I could clearly see the poe in it but you also added your own personality.
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Great
I like how your poem tells a story. -
This is a pretty good parody of the original Pretty funny too. Some of the words didn't rhyme as well as Poe did, but you put up a nice effort.
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Lol. Well this certainly gave me a chuckle. But as a critique...and this may seem minor, but you've got to realize that you've done a parody of Poe's work, and the rhymes in his poetry are precise! So with that said....'weary' does not rhyme with 'scary'...nor does 'pouring' and 'slurring'. Lol. But I commend your effort. You achieved the rambling state like that of a true drunkard! Lol.
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In so far as it brought back memories of Poe's work I enjoyed this. The references such as John Barleycorn were a nice touch.
As a possible Hook why not change the end of line two from weary to wary. It maintains the tension from scary in line one, it still has the same rhythm (and it rhymes
)
Jim S
Edited on May 28, 7:44 because ''.
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